Aaron
[jcarnage@yahoo.com] (with Mara and
Lynati)
From the “Erroneously Named” Saga, we give you “The FunMist” (part 3)
We return to the Principal Office, the “cavalry” already
having arrived.
Lynati’s gargoyle form, now a foot shorter than usual and sporting lavender and
aqua streaked fur hovers next to the couch fiddling with her icon. Having
finally succeeded in disabling the algorithm that made her speak with Daemon’s
accent she re-clips it to her chest.
Lynati:: You know, I’d like to bitch about how I was gypped about rebooting as
neither Hex nor Mouse, who are my favorite fems of the series…but honestly I
don’t have the energy for it. I’ve already admitted that Demmie works better as
Hex in the context of the MiST, and besides, the flying is cool…
Mara:: Who are you talking to?
Lynati:: No one. I’m just making random expository statements. Can we start the
fic now? I’d like to finish the MiST some time before the next Gathering.
Aaron:: You know, if it bothers you that much you could always dress up as Hex
for the con.
Lynati:: Nah, I think I’m going as Ophelia this year. And Sarsvati for Vegas.
And maybe Whitbourne for the year after…
All:: (stare)
Aaron:: You better not give me head-bitey wearing the beak.
Lynati:: I make no promises.
Aaron:: ...
Lynati:: (muses) I could always go as Death...
Death:: Stick with Whitless. That would be too weird.
Lynati:: …or Hyena…
Death:: (twitch)
Angela:: If you want to go as a beaked gargoyle so bad, why not just go as
Ariana?
Lynati:: Nah, Siryn already called dibs on her.
Aaron:: Aaaaanyway. Back to the pain?
All:: (resigned) Back to the pain.
It wasn't long until the Sandra
had gripped Elisa's head o her
and was grinding against her.
"Oh, Fuck!" says Sandra." Oh, God…Yes!…Eat me…eat your slutty
partner you hot bitch!" yells Sandra.
Mara:: Lesbians shouldn’t talk dirty. It’s… wrong.
Lynati:: This whole fic is wrong.
Angela:: You’ve only been here for two minutes!
Lynati:: Which was a minute and forty-five seconds more than I needed to come
to that conclusion. Actually, I read the earlier parts in misted form to prep
for this. And it still didn’t take me more than a couple lines before I snorted
spaghetti through my nose.
Death:: Was that from the riffs, or just the quality of the original story?
Lynati:: Yes.
Elisa gladly obliged and started to finger her while suckling on her clitoris.
A few minuents later Sandra was exploding into Elisa's mouth.
Demona:: BOOM.
Elisa smiled and hungrily lapped up the juices and smiles at her new lover. She
slowly slid up to Sandra and kissed her fully on the lips. Sandra moaned as he
Lynati:: “He”??
All: Hermaphrodite.
Lynati:: Ahhh.
tasted herself on Sandra's lips. Sandra pulled Elisa closet
Mara:: All that and she’s still in the closet?
to her and enjoyed her warmth.
"I love you Elisa." Says Sandra.
"I love you to Sandi." says Elisa as she fell asleep in Sandra's
embrace.
Lynati:: (still staring, mortified) Brain...hurty...can’t...think...fic has
lowered IQ...by 27 points....
Five Months Later…
Mara:: I know one gets sleepy after sex but that’s ridiculous.
Lynati:: No, I think it’s the recovery time needed after reading the last scene.
Alleyways of
Death:: Three more months, just three more months!
Along the streets of Manhattan Sandra Cantiago chased the smallest member of
the Lost Boys
Demona:: Three and a quarter inches…
who had just stolen a rig from a young man on the street.
Mara:: His code name must be Road Warrior.
Elisa stayed behind to radio back up. Sandra notices that this lost boy dressed
different from the rest. This thief was completely covered form head to toe in
clothing
Lynati:: As opposed to popsicle-sticks, like the rest of the gang.
and was wearing large shoes. And only its eye were visible.
Angela:: (Sandra) He’s a Cyclops!
Sandra quickly turned the alleyway and chased the punk a few feet down the
alleyway until she was close enough to make a flying tackled. Sandra leapt and
hit the thief with force of line backer
Aaron:: Shit, Sandra’s the entire offensive line. And the defensive line… and
the special teams…
Mara:: and the tackling dummies, and the foreign kicker… and the waterboy…
Pestilence: And the replacements…
Angela:: Waterboy!
knocking the thief of its feet. It's black baseball cap falling from its head.
Death:: Duo Maxwell?
"Ha, I got--offff!" says Sandra as a foot hit her with the force of a
cinder block and sent her flying into the wall.
Lynati:: That gets her off? She must really like it rough....
She was about to get up when a fist struck here across the jaw that almost
shattered it.
Pestilence :: Hermaphrodite...of...steel!
Sandra flew to the ground again. She then found herself lifted off the ground
with ease and then tossed into a trash bin.
Demona:: Ah, must be a Thursday, trash day.
Sandra was busy trying to shake the
Demona:: Crap…
cobwebs of her head hen
Lynati:: Sandra, long-lost sister of Discworld’s Duck Man.
she was lifted off the ground and she thought she was staring into a golden
face with glowing crimson eyes.
Mara:: Yes, Arcais has been on the streets ever since VP has decided to delay
his porn site.
The figure then buried its fist into Sandra and released her.
All: ...eeewww....
Sandra dropped to the ground and rolled around on the ground
Angela:: Sandra, concerned with fire safety, decides now is a perfect
opportunity to practice Stop, Drop, and Roll. Kids, why not practice it too?
We’ll wait.
Death:: No we won’t.
holding her stomach as tears streaming from her cheeks.
Mara:: Pain Away, for that washed out head ache-y feeling known as Period pain.
Demona:: I’d suggest a hysterectomy.
When the figure saw that Sandra was clearly out of it, picked up it's hat and
took off on all fours down the alleyway. Sandra growled and stumbled to get up
she tried to continue the chase but, those blows had already taken their
effect.
Lynati:: Her legs had cramped from all that time on her knees.
She dropped to the ground and held her stomach and retched a few times. Just as
Elisa turned around the corner she then saw Sandra holding her stomach and
retching into the ground.
Aaron:: Sandra must have read the last scene too.
Mara:: INTO the ground? Must have
been the crater she made when she landed.
"Sandra!" says Elisa as she ran over to her lover's side and held
her.
"They got away again damn it!" yells Sandra as blood runs down her
chin.
Lynati:: Fucking vampires!
Elisa hushes Sandra. "It's alright backup is already on that thief's tale
Aaron: As opposed to A
Knight’s Tale.
they'll catch that little
midget." says Elisa.
Demona:: And then it’s time to toss.
Angela:: Don’t tell the elf.
"But, are you okay hun?" says Elisa. "Can you walk?"
"Yeah, Sug." Says Sandra as she slowly staggers to her feet. She then
clutches her stomach and groans. "Fuck…"
Lynati:: You? No thanks.
"Come on were goona get you some medical attention."
Angela:: But the Republicans cut funding again.
Says Elisa as she led her lover back to the patrol car and radioed for an
ambulance.
Aaron:: I need a bambalance, I’m hurt real bad. (Ed. Note: No, that’s not a
typo.)
Elisa hated to see her partner in pain. Ever since they have become lovers for
over five months.
Mara:: Sentence fragment.
Some people he noticed
Mara:: Who’s “he” and why is he noticing us?
that Elisa' has become more protective over Sandra and that they hardly do
anything without the other one right there.
Lynati :: -watching?
Many people have noticed this but have brushed it off since they are partners
and even partner's become close at times.
Angela:: And in any work related series there are bound to be as many character
pairing trade offs as can be done in a sweeps week.
So, they simply shrugged it off and ignored them.
Mara: Even when they were
having loud wild sex in the broom closet at work.
Which is what Elisa and Sandra wanted. At this time No one was really that
accepting of homosexuals or even working with them at this time.
Angela:: … at this time.
Mara:: (Officer Morgan) For the last time, I’m not going to hook you up, you
fag freak!
So Elisa and Sandra had to be extra cautious when they decided to hold hands or
even kiss or fondle each other.
Angela:: Since when are het couples allowed to do that at work anyway?
Aaron & Mara: (Exchange
a glance) Heh.
But, that wasn't her main concern was the precinct it was her parents actually.
Demona:: (Neil) And I am not feeling very well, actually.
She really wanted Sandra to meet her family but how was she gonna to tell them
about her relations with Sandra.
Mara: Hey, he misspelled “goona!”
I mean, “gonna”…I don’t know anymore!
She was shaken from her thoughts when the ambulance came up and they helped
Sandra into the ambulance and she rode off with her.
Death:: She would have, but with Sandra in the back of the ambulance the two
front wheels were off the ground.
---
St. Peter's Hospital
Pestilence: Home for
sufferers of magical crotch-rot.
7:58 p.m
Death:: Wait… no time elapsed between these two scenes… that’s cheating!
Mara:: All events are simultaneous in the Invisiverse…
Death:: Is that why everything happens at thirty-five or fifty-eight after?
The doctor came out
Angela:: Well, good for him.
into the waiting area
Angela:: Oh.
where Elisa awaited
Aaron:: She’s awaiting in a waiting area. How novel.
with her raven
Pestilence: Nevermore!
Aaron:
hair pulled back into a ponytail and was holding her hat.
Pestilence:: So her hair’s holding her hat?
The doctor stared at the officer a moment and then looked at her.
Angela:: And then gazed at her for a moment, and then raised his eyes to her,
and then regarded her…
Demona:: We get the point.
"Detective Maza?" says the doctor.
"Yes, how's Sandra?" says Elisa.
"She's fine Detective." Says the doctor. "Just a few bumps and.
Lynati :: Grinds?
She'll be okay in a few weeks but,
Death:: She’ll be dead in three months!
she'll need plenty rest so she can heal properly. "says the doctor.
Mara:: So, no more sex scenes, Missy.
He then walks over looks over his Shoulder. "Oh, Ms. Cantiago there you
are.
Death:: You mean you somehow didn’t see her before?
I was telling her about your injuries."
"Sandra!" says Elisa as she hugged her tightly.
Sandra winced. "Um, sug…could you back off a bit…I'm still in pain
here."
Demona:: Well, who told you to go eat at Jack in the Box, anyway?
"Oh, sorry." says Elisa as she lets go. She then motions with her had
as she smiles. "Come on I'll take you home."
All:: (sing) Oh won’t you please take me home!
"Thanks Partner.". says Sandra
---
Elisa led Sandra out to her car and they both got in. Elisa decided to take her
straight her.
Mara:: But I thought homosexuality was genetic…
But on we
Angela:: Author, taking in plural still doesn’t give you permission to butt in.
Demona:: This fic is giving me a definite feeling of ennui actually.
thing kept on lingering on her mind about Sandra meeting her parents. What will
they think of her...will they like her or hate her?
Death:: Considering Sandra’s sparkling personality, the latter.
What will they think of there relationship what's even worse she hasn't told
Sandra about her plans.
Lynati:: To take over the world?
She stopped at a red light
Mara:: You don’t have to put on the red light.
and looked over at Sandra.
"Sandi?" says Elisa.
"Yeah, Sug?" says Sandra as she looks at her.
"You know how I feel about you right?" says Elisa. Her brown eyes
shifted over to her.
Demona:: Meager attempt at foreshadowing.
"Yeah, I know how you feel about me Sug." says Sandra she then look
concerned." Sug? Is something wrong?
Elisa took a deep breath. "Well, you know how good these past Eight months
have been ever since I met you." She reaches over and rubs her knee with
her hand. "I love you with all my heart
Angela:: And my knee too.
Sandra lays her hand upon hers." I know that hun and I love you with all
my heart. You are my life's blood my everything Liz." Says Sandra,
"Now, tell me what's wrong?"
Mara:: Other than you just called her Liz and her name is Elisa?
"Well, it's nothing at all. It's just that Thanksgiving is coming up and I
want to know if you would…you know…"
Pestilence: (As Elisa) Stuff my turkey?
says Elisa as she fumbled with the
Pestilence:: Zipper of her jeans.
words.
"Meet your family?" says Sandra.
"Yeah. But, I'm worried because they--" starts Elisa
Demona:: (Elisa) have only met one other woman as fat as you before and they
threw peanuts at the last one…
"Your worried because you don't know how they will react if they fin
All:: (sing) Fins to the left, fins to the right you’re the only meal in town!
out that there daughter is gay?" says Sandra.
"Yeah." says Elisa." I can't help the way I feel about you my
love. I don't know what I would do without you in my life.
Death: But you’ll find out soon enough…
I want to know everybody
Mara:: (sings) I wanna fuck everyone, I wanna do something that matters…
how I fell about you Sandra
Angela:: (Elisa) Ow! My shins!
even if the world doesn't know it.
Demona:: So everyone should know, but the world doesn’t have to?
I ant at least my family to know about it." Says Elisa.
Sandra squeezes Elisa hand tighter. "So do I love. I love you Elisa and I
will not let anything stop from our love being known to your family. I'll comer
to your family's house from dinner. Should I just where my Red Jacket
Mara:: Which I think is a brand of fetish wear…
or jeans…or dress a little fancy?" she then waggles her brows.
Elisa laughs. "No, come as you are hun."
Mara: In a muumuu.
Says Elisa. "I love you Sandra. Says Elisa as she stops the car in front
of Sandra's building.
"I love you too hun." Says Sandra and the both of the enjoyed a long
and impassioned kiss.
Lynati:: While the rest of us vomit.
When they broke it they were both breathing hard and feeling hot all over.
"Probably…we should…" says Elisa as she licks her lips.
"Let's do it Sug." says Sandra with a wink.
Elisa smiled at Sandra and they both ,exited the car and entered the building
to indulge in the pleasure of the flesh.
Mara:: (Snape) The power.. of pleasure.
Demona:: No more Hermione/Snape fics for you.
Mara and Lynati: Awwww!
---
Maza Apartment
7:58 p.m
Aaron: Four days to the minute from the last scene.
Elisa and Sandra stood outside the door to Elisa's parents apartment both of
them clasped there hands together.
Mara:: Calling on the power of the Imperium Silver
Sandra had decided to bring another nice Cajun dish to help out with her
parents.
Demona: (As Sandra) See Elisa, if I poison them, you won’t ever have to tell
them you’re gay. Neat huh?
Elisa then looked at Sandra and pulled back some of her lover's brunette hair
Demona:: (Elisa) Yeah, you like that don’t you, bitch!
all the while smiling at Sandra. Sandra smiled back at Elisa and then kissed
her softly on the lips. Elisa then let out a deep breath and knocked on the
door. They both waited for a couple minuents and then came the sounds of a door
unlatching and the door swung open slowly.
Aaron:: (Riff Raff) Hello…
Standing there was Derek maza with his haircut short
Angela:: Wasn’t Derek’s hair always short?
and was wearing a blue N.Y.P.D t-shirt and grey sweat pants accompanied by
sneakers.
Mara:: A real one, not one of those god awful bootleg NYPD shirts they sold
after 9/11 without copyright and without any profit to the actual organization.
When he sees Elisa he embraces her tightly all the while smiling.
Death:: No one gave head like his big sister.
"Hey, sis…Happy Thanksgiving!: says Derek.
Mara:: Thanksgiving already? Man, this Mist takes forever to work on.
"Happy, Thanksgiving Derek." says Elisa." Um, I hope Mom won't
mind I brought an extra mouth to feed."
All:: (Snicker)
Aaron:: One mouth, six stomachs.
Demona:: But cows only have four
stomachs… oh, right, this is Sandra we’re talking about.
Says Elisa as she motions to Sandra.
Derek then blinks at the beautiful women before him for a few seconds his mouth
gaping. "Um…happy Thanksgiving….uh…"he scratched the back of his
head.
Demona:: (Derek) Fuck my cock that’s one huge bitch.
Lynati (incredulously) :: Did you say ‘Fuck my cock’?
Demona:: No.
Lynati:: Yes you did. Just now.
Demona:: I said no such thing.
Lynati:: Yeah-huh. You said 'fuck my cock.'
Demona:: So what? Shut up and MiST the fic, I want out of here before my
2,000th hatchday.
Lynati:: I don’t know which is more disturbing- this fic, or you being able to
quote “Death Eaters at the Malfoy estate” as well as I can.
Both:: - Mara’s fault?
Demona:: You, too?
Lynati:: Thought so.
"Sandra Cantiago." Says the woman." And Happy
Thanksgiving...Sug. I brought my own plate if you don't mind."
Pestilence:: It’s a manhole cover!
Aaron:: (Sandra) Regular ones just don’t hold enough food.
"No…not at all." Says Derek. "Mom…cooks a lot just in case we
have some unannounced guests show up.
Mara:: If they were Puerto Rican, like my family, they’d have enough to feed a
small army.
Please come in."
Sandra walks in and smiles at Derek. "Thanks Sug." Says Sandra. She
then walks in
Angela:: She walked in twice?
Death:: No, Sandra’s just so big that it takes a while.
wiggling her butt a bit as she did.
Demona:: Not on purpose, but you know, fat wiggles.
Both Elisa and Derek look on with smug grins as they watched Sandra greet Beth,
Peter and Diane. Derek then puled his sister aside so he could talk to her in
private.
"whoa, sis…where did you find someone like her?" says Derek.
"She fucking gorgeous."
Mara:: -George.
Says Derek as he continues to
stare at her wide-eyed. "She's my partner." Says Elisa. He then
noticed that Derek was staring extra hard at her with sort of lusty look in his
eyes. Derek then nudged her brother with her elbow."
Lynati:: Apparently, *both* Elisa and Derek are trans-gender freaks.
Hey, don't stare too hard brother."
"Why not?" says Derek. He looks at Elisa. "You
Pestilence :: -always used to share!
have to introduce me to her.
Angela:: She just did!
"She has got everything, perfect body, beautiful eyes nice butt and a
nice…"
says Derek.
"Boyfriend." Says Elisa.
Mara:: (Maza) Me.
"Oh, well…"says Derek as he sighs defeatedley. "It wouldn't have
worked out anyway…she's a frigging model."
Demona:: … of the Spruce Moose.
She then lets out a sigh of relief." I dodged that bullet."
(Demona, Death, and even
She looked at Sandra." Sorry, Derek but she's mine." We'll better see
if mom needs any help with dinner." she then walked off to fine her lover
Aaron: (As Elisa) That’ll be fifteen dollars for attracting my brother.
was in the kitchen with Diane.
Aaron: Someone’s in the kitchen with Di-ane…
Angela:: Someone was asleep in English class when they were explaining how to
write dialogue in sentence form.
Aaron: (Sweatdrops)
"Hey, you too...what smells so good?" says Elisa.
Lynati:: *Whaps Pest before he can open his mouth.*
Pestilence: Oww! Obviously, it’s not any of them, so what was I going to say?
Lynati:: I just wanted to be on the safe side.
Pestilence:: Then why did you come here??
Lynati:: ...Touché.
"It's the meal that I'm cooking." says Diane. "You know...it's
been a longtime that you have brought a guest such as intersting as Sandra over
here."
Demona: (As Diane) Usually you bring home such normal, boring people. So, where
did you find her? Freak show? Carnival? The set for Seven?
"Thanks mom." says Elisa.
Mara:: (Maza) For your horribly guilt trip inducing sarcasm. Happy Holidays.
Aaron: (As Diane) And when am I going to get some grandchildren?
"I really like Sandra…she's a good person." She looks at Sandra.
Sandra blushes." Thanks Sug." She walks over to Diane. "The
turkey smells marvelous Mrs. Maza…you have got to give me the recipe."
Diane laughs and playfully swats at Sandra's arm. "Flatterer. Nut, the
secret to my turkey.
All:: Ewww!
Just a lot of motherly love
Mara:: Hump that turkey!
and the correct amount of seasoning."
Angela:; Celestial Seasoning, we make it fresh, we make it better.
she smiles. "You two better hurry up and get washer
Mara:: -dryer-
up or you'll get no seconds for dinner."
Demona:: (Sandra) Then I’ll skip right on to thirds, Ma’am.
"Yes, Mrs. Maza." Says Sandra as she pulls Elisa out of the kitchen.
All the while both of them are giggling like school girls. Diane looked over at
the two giggling women and just simply arched a brow at them.
Aaron:: The part of The Rock will now be played by Diane Maza.
As the night continued on without hitch as they whole family and Sandra
enjoined
All :: -with-
the lovely meal that Diane has prepared.
Mara:: The Maza’s celebrate Thanksgiving in a very *special* way.
Basically Sandra was a big hit with the family.
Death:: Sandra’s a big EVERYTHING.
Everybody enjoined the young woman's
Lynati:: I knew it!!
anecdotes and amazing stories of her life on the road. Even Peter laughed of
the story which Sandra accidentally ruined a meal for the senator of
Mara:: By doubling up the ingredients.
Elisa was glad that everyone liked Sandra then maybe her idea of coming out to
them would work. After a scrumptious dinner everyone sat around the T.V and
watched some holiday programming.
Lynati:: You cannot adjust the horizontal. You cannot adjust the vertical. For
the next hour, your mind will be under the control of an atrociously written
porn-fic.
While Sandra helped Diane with the desert after the meal. A Few minuents later
Sandra and Diane came to with a slice of pumpkin pie with a scoop of vanilla
ice cream.
Angela: One slice for everybody?
Mara:: Sandra ate the rest of the pie while they were in the kitchen.
After Desert
Demona:: A new fragrance by Elizabeth Taylor.
Diane sat next to peter while Sandra sat right next to Elisa and they started
to eat. As everyday eat their desert
Mara:; Phew.. sand again! Everyday sand.. why can’t we get some dirt.. or some
steam…
Aaron:: Because steam is evil.
Mara:: They had steam for dinner in RHPS…
Aaron:: Thank you for making my point for me.
Mara:: D’oh!
Elisa kept her eyes on Sandra as to see if she wanted them to come
Lynati: (whaps
Pestilence: Dangit! You’re thinking it too, or you wouldn’t be hitting me!
Death:: I think she’s just looking for an excuse to hit you,
Lynati: Hee-hee!
out to the both of them right here and now. Sandra only answered by reaching
over and taking her hand in hers and giving it a strong squeeze.
Mara:: (Jack Black) And squeeze! Squeeze… take off your blouse and your
underpants….
Elisa smiled at Sandra while Sandra simply smiled back and mouthed 'I love you
Demona:: -you cow-
'. Elisa mouthed the same phrase back before finishing up the last of her pie.
Pestilence:: I like pie.
She gave Sandra's hand a strong squeeze before she rose uneasily from her seat
on the couch. Elisa then let out a strong sigh as she made her way to the front
of the room and looked upon her family and her lover.
All: Same thing.
She then took a few deep breaths before speaking.
"Um, Mom, Dad, Derek, Beth…I have announcement to make." Says Elisa.
"What is it sis?" says Beth.
"Yeah, what s it?" says Derek.
Diane and Peter just looked at their daughter with uneasy eyes. but remained
silent as they both wondered what is this announcement that there daughter had
to make. Elisa felt like she was goona hyper
Lynati:: Not just regular hyper,
mind you.
ventilates right then and there.
Demona: I’d like to ventilate them all, right then and there.
She looked like all those eyes staring at her probably already contemplating
her fate.
Demona: I’ve seen it, Maza. And it’s ugly.
Elisa then started to look nervous she couldn't do this...
Aaron:: You have to, it’s in the script.
what if they reject her...
Death:: Oh, why would they do that?
what if they hate her or disown her.
Mara:: In reverse order, they will and they do.
She started to shake a bit
Demona:: (sings) Shake, shake, shake Senora, shake your body line. Work, work,
work Senora, work it all the time…
and was about to just to forget about the whole thing
Mara:: Amnesia turned it’s ugly head and coughed.
Demona:: We should be so lucky.
until she saw Sandra stand up and walk slowly over to her
Pestilence:: (Plays clip of *real* Toho Godzilla stomping through
All:: (Sing) Oh, no, there goes
she then walked over to her
Angela:: I hate repeating prose.
and stood by her side as well her pleasant smile never fading once. Elisa
smiled at Sandra's strong strength
Mara:: Strong… strength? Well if that isn’t redundancy at its most redundant,
I’ll eat Demmie’s halter.
Pestilence:: (quickly) Naw, that wasn’t redundant at all.
Demona:: You two shouldn’t work in tandem like that, it’s creepy.
not only, as friend but also as her lover.
Aaron:: (sings) I don’t wanna be your friend, I wanna be your lover.
Elisa could slowly feel her strength returning as she looked at those sea of
eyes.
All:: Eeewww.
"Actually, we have announcement to make." says Elisa.
Mara:: Would the owner of the puke green Miata step out into the parking lot,
you’re being towed…
"Well, what is it?" says Beth.
Mara:: Bagels are half off… now in the baked goods department.
Aaron:: Hey, bagels.
Lynati:: Hell makes a yummy bagel.
"Well, you guys…"she took another few deep breaths. She could feel
her heart trying to leap out of her throat.
Demona:: That’s a wonderful mental image, Invisi. There, that’s your positive
feedback.
She was about to back down when Sandra gripped her hand and gave it a squeeze.
Pestilence:: (Plays bone-crushing crunch)
" Well, as…I was saying…jeez how I'm going to put this?"
Pestilence:: (Elisa) I’m fucking a hermaphrodite!
she looked down once more searching for that hidden courage that resided inside
of her.
Mara:: You can do it, Cowardly Lion.
" After taking a few more breaths she looked up. "I'm Gay."
Mara:: However, you are NOT a Smart Girl.
A wave of what's
Pestilence:: (Al) What?
and raised eyebrows
Mara:: Everybody wants to be the Rock.
went throughout the whole room.
Angela:: The WWE must be having a special Smackdown on.
Elisa was afraid this she knew she shouldn't have told them like this but, how
long was she goona wait. Until she was in her wedding dress?
Demona:: Why buy the fucking moronic cow when you can get the milk for free?
She then swallowed
Mara :: Apparently, someone besides the bassist does, after all…
her fears once and she wrapped a slender arm around Sandra's waist
Angela:: It’ll never reach the whole way.
and pulled her to her in a strong embrace.
"And Sandra is my lover." Says Elisa.
"Whoa." Says Beth.
Aaron:: (Beth) I didn’t know you had such bad taste, Elisa.
"Elisa…."says Derek as he stilled looked at his sister wide-eyed.
Mara:: (Derek) But, you said she was dating a GUY!
Diane was speechless but then her shocked statement turn into half of smile.
"That's nice dear."
Demona:: Mom’s on some good drugs, eh.
Aaron:: They call it Mother’s Little Helper.
She then looked at her husband. "Peter?"
Mara:: No, they’re lesbians, no peter involved.
Peter's face was mask of anger.
Demona:: He doesn’t like to be excluded.
He then rose up from his seat and pointed his finger at Sandra his eyes
narrowed." You! You did this to my daughter you little harlot!" says
Peter.
Death:: Funny, how Elisa’s dad knows that Sandra like to be called a harlot.
"Dad!" says Elisa.
"Quiet Elisa!" says Peter. "You did this to her.
Mara: (as Peter) You forced her into this horrible fic!
My Daughter was perfectly fine until you came along and screwed her up."
All: Bwahahahahahahahaha!
Demona:: (falls off the couch in
an ungainly sprawl) Maza??
Sandra looks shocked.
Diane. "Peter please…"pleads Diane.
Death: Is it me, or does Invisi write in script format, and then do a
half-assed job of cleaning it up later?
"No Diane." Says Peter.
Pestilence: (As Peter) Not now dear, I’m in the middle of a tirade. We can fuck
later.
"Can't you see what she has done to her daughter?"
All: HUH?!?
he the snarls at Sandra. "I want you take your gay ass out of my
house!"
Aaron: Calling Sandra an ass insults donkey’s everywhere.
"No, Dad!" says Elisa. "Sandra isn't going anywhere!
Demona: She’s too fat.
I lover her…and she loves me." She then walks over to her father.
"And I will not some homophobic Jackass ruin this for me!"
All: (Hum the Jackass theme)
"Elisa!" says Diane.
"You didn't always think this way…it was until."
Angela: Until what?
he sneered at Sandra. "She came along and corrupted you with her who knows
what she could have given you!" says Peter.
Death: A hernia?
"The only thing that Sandra gave me is someone to love and that's more
than what any man has ever given me!" says Elisa.
Mara: Someone to love? She got you pregnant?
"No, Sug your father's right…"says Sandra. "I did corrupt you
with my queer
Aaron: Eye?
Angela: Hey, I love that
show!
vibes…
Demona: At least she’s honest.
I better go."
All: Please do. And don’t come back!
Says Sandra as she walked over to the coat hanger and threw on her red leather
jacket. Thanks for the lovely dinner Mrs. Maza." She then opens the door
and leaves.
All: (Cheer)
"Sandra…wait!" yells Elisa as she runs after her.
Aaron: I refuse to believe anybody has to run after Sandra.
---
Outside in the hallway Elisa manages to catch h up with Sandra.
Death: After two steps.
She found the buxom brunette standing by the elevator with fresh tears
streaming down her face as she frantically pushed the button on the elevator.
Aaron: (As Sandra) Stupid elevator! Why don’t you work?!? You know I can’t do
stairs!
Hoping it will help the elevator's decent faster. Finally the doors open and
Sandra was about to get in until Elisa grabbed her by the arm and pulled her
another embrace.
Mara: So, Maza waited until the elevator showed up before making a move?
"Sandra…please…don't leave me…I love you." Sobs Elisa. "I'm
sorry for what my father said about you. I'm…so sorry."
Pestilence: Mega-Me… I love you. You complete me.
Sandra then held Elisa close to her." I'm sorry too hun. But, did you see
the way that your father looked at me…he hated the fact that I am gay.
Aaron:: No, he just thought Elisa could do better.
For Pete sakes
Death:: There’s Pete now. (points to Peter) and he’s brought harpoons.
I swear he was about to haul off and strike me."
Pestilence:: Good thing he didn’t. Ever see someone punch the Blob from the
Marvel Universe?
Demona:: So move to
she then wiped the tears form here eyes. "Sug, you know how ,much I love
you…
Lynati:: Didn’t Mouse say the same thing to the Surfer right before End Game?
(glances around at the rest of the re-booted cast) Now I’m glad I didn’t come
back as her. I didn’t want the French accent, but if I’d’ve been forced to talk
like Sandra Canti-taco the whole fic, I’d be insane by now.
Pestilence: And just how would we
be able to tell?
Lynati: Bah.
but, I can't let you risk your family over me."
Mara:: Don’t play Risk! That game takes almost as long as Monopoly, and this
fic is too damn big already.
Lynati: (As Steve Oderkirk) But
isn’t Trouble a family game?!?
"Please Sandra...I will not have anything…
Mara:: (sings) If I don’t have you…
If you are not by my side hun." Says Elisa. "I lose you so much
Sandi….
Demona:: Sadly, she always finds her way back.
it hurts me not to hold you…or to kiss you…I mmmmm…."
Aaron: (As Elisa, muffled) Hey! I wasn’t finished talking!
says Elisa as Sandra pressed her lips to hers in a passionate kiss.
Sandra savored every ounce of honeydew sweetness that hung on Elisa's lips.
Pestilence:: Just as much as she savors Elisa’s melons.
Hoping that one kiss would last forever.
Mara:: But then they’d asphyxiate.
Death: Let’s hope for that then.
She then reluctantly broke it as the doors open and she steps into the car and
the doors slide close.
Angela:: Ah, there’s that floating car again.
Demona: Floating cattle car?
"Goodbye Elisa…I love you."
Mara:: Fuck you, God loves you.
Elisa looks heartbroken over the fact that the woman that she will ever love
has disappeared out of her life.
Demona:: But the fic’s not near over yet.
Angela:: Hope springs eternal.
Her blood boiled over at what caused there so called break up.
Mara:: Her so-called life?
Her Father.
Demona:: Bitch, bitch, bitch.
She screamed with all the anger in her heart and pounced the steel elevator
doors.
Mara:: (Derek) Mooooom, Elisa’s screwing the elevator again.
Pestilence: Well, after Sandra, it was that or the refrigerator. Nothing else
is big enough.
She then proceeded back to the apartment with a determined look on her face.
---
The Door
Angela:: Is it a divine door that it merits capitalization?
Mara:: Invisi is just a dyed-in-the-wool capitalist.
to Peter and Diane's Apartment was flung up open and made a loud slam against
the plastered wall.
Lynati (NNY) :: YOU SEE! IT CHANGES COLOR WHEN IT DRIES! IT NEVER STAYS! I HAVE
TO KEEP THE WALL WET!
Everybody looked at Elisa who was literally fuming at her father.
Mara:: Bottle that steam up for dinner!
Angela:: (Derek) No more sand, Yaye!
She marched up to her with the most determined sneer on her face.
Demona:: Maza looks constipated.
Aaron: Obviously, she needs to send away for Severus Snape’s ‘How to Sneer Like
a Slytherin’ mail order course.
(All the females): Mmm, Severus…
She then poked a manicured nail into Peter's chest.
Demona:: (Eliza) I need to use the bathroom, NOW.
"Are you happy now dad?" snarls Elisa. " The woman that I loved
more than anything in the world is now goon
Mara:: Naw, she was always a bit of a goon.
because of your God Damned bigotry! I hope your fucking happy!" says Elisa
.
Lynati: No, but he is blowing
Sneezy.
She then stormed away from him.
Peter looks shocked. "Elisa…I…"
Demona:: (Peter) I’m very happy now, actually. Thanks for asking, Kitten!
Elisa looked back and narrowed her eyes at him." I hate you!"
Demona:: Ooo, that hurts so much coming from you, Maza.
With that she grabs her jean jacket off the cot hanger
Mara:: Cot hanger? Their apartment must be damn small.
and left without another word leaving all the Maza's except for Derek in shock.
Angela:: Derek’s a psychic.
Mara:: Yeah, he saw his transmutation coming a mile away.
Derek then looked backed at Peter and shook his head and then ran off after his
sister.
Lynati (Derek) :: Sorry, Dad, but she *is* a better lay than you.
Diane looked over at her husband. "I hope you are happy with yourself
Peter." she then walks off to her bedroom and closes the door.
Pestilence:: -to spend some quality time with her portable massager.
Peter then looks at Beth.
Demona:: (Peter) Guess we’ll have to work twice as hard at the orgy, eh Beth?
Beth just says nothing and walks off into her own room and close the door
behind her.
Peter then sighs and sits on the couch and lets out a heavy sigh.
Lynati (Peter):: Just as well. The turkey rites took a lot out of me.
---
Elisa decide to take the stairs instead of the Elevator
Aaron: She found something bigger after all.
she ran down the steps all the while letting her tears fly freely out of her
chocolate brown eyes.
Demona: Fly my pretties!
She ran s fast
Pestilence: Look at that S Car Go.
as she could to the nearest exit and out to her Fairlane. She walked over to
the driver's side,
Lynati: She ran as fast as she could, all the way down the stairs, but then she
walked around the car?
Death: This is an IX fic. Don’t expect anything to make sense.
opened the door, and was about to open the door when a voice rang out.
Death: See what I mean?
"Elisa! Wait!" says Derek as he jogged up to her. "Where are you
going?"
Pestilence: Hey Maza! You’ve just outed yourself to your parents, and your dad
had a fit and told off your girlfriend! Where are you going now!
Angela: (As Elisa) I’m going to Euro-Disney!
Aaron: Is it Gay Day already?
"I'm going home to my own apartment Derek." says Elisa.
Derek saw the tears that were streaming down her face and blurring her vision.
He then walked over to the passenger side. "In that condition? I don'
think so."
Demona: Have a few drinks first Maza. That’ll make everything better.
He then looked at her with concern. "Come on Sis talk to me…tell me what's
on your mind?"
Lynati (Elisa):: Tonya Mitchell lyrics.
"Why did he do it Derek?" says Elisa as she grips her keys tightly.
"Why did he treat Sandra that way? Why did he have to say those
things?"
I don't know." says Derek. "But, you really shocked the shit out of
all us back there with that little announcement.
Demona:: That sounds messy.
Mara:: Time to break out the continence pants.
I guess h was just going on his own emotion.
Mara:: Triple H does that at times, but he’s known for being more cerebral.
I mean you know how a lot of people feel about homosexuals. They're not even
comfortable around them and are prejudice against them."
Angela:: But times change, look at all the fag hags nowadays.
"But, we know how we felt prejudice. Look at Dad and Mom. When they got
married A lot of people were not so approving of mixed-race relations or even
more the people of color? "
Mara:: (rolls eyes) Yeah, damn people of color shouldn’t breed.
She then wiped away a tear. "You remember how I was growing up being a
bi-racial kid Derek."
"How could I forget?" says Derek. "The use of the words of Mixie
Mara:: The ancient language of bi-racials?
Or being called a nigger or half a nigger almost everyday. Always running to be
avoid being beat up by the upper classmen. "He then sniffs.
Demona:: Pussy.
Angela:: Hey, Derek, describe life for the ancient Sumerians.
" It wasn't easy growing up back in those times…
Angela:: Lucky guess.
fortunately Beth doesn't haven't deal with that anymore and neither do we. But,
it's still out there that hatred. Just because were different."
"Well, that's how I feel right now Derek. I feel that my dad is prejudiced
against people like Sandra sees she chosen to like other woman.
Demona:: Huh?
I mean us humans cannot choose who we love or who we don't.
Demona:: Well, that’s your problem now isn’t it.
Our parents are perfect examples like that and so are people like Linda and
John." Says Elisa.
Angela:: John Tesh and Linda Ronstat aren’t bi-racial or gay… I think.
"Listen, Elisa Dad is not prejudice he knows what we went through."
He leans against the Fairlane and looks into the sky." I guess in away
he's scared for you?"
"Elisa looks at him. "Scared?"
"Yeah, I mean it's one thing to be forming a mixed-race relations but to
be gay also…:he sighs. "Dad is just scared that something bad will happen
to you if you and Sandra are found out. To be hated for your sexual
preferences." Says Derek.
Demona:: Bah, I hate both of them and it’s got nothing to do with sexual
preferences or color.
"Well, that's a risk tat Sandra and I are going to have to take then
aren't we?" says Elisa. "I will not loose the woman that I love to
prejudice to anyone."
Mara:: HUH?!?!
Derek smiles and looks at her." You really love her don't you?"
Elisa nods. "Yes."
Derek then looks at her. "Then go tell dad that." says Derek.
Elisa smiles. "I will." She hugs her little brother." Thank you
Derek." She then kissed him on the cheek and runs inside.
Derek smiles." Hey, um, If Sandra has non-gay sister…you know where to
find me."
Mara:: (helpfully) Sleeping with Beth?
Elisa shoots him a glare.
"Kidding! Kidding!" says Derek.
Elisa smiles and continues her way inside.
---
Peter Maza stands outside on the balcony of the apartment looking up at the
darkening sky. He then lets out a soft sigh
Mara:: (makes farting noise)
as he what he just said to Elisa's lover flittered through his mind. He keeps
on wondering what did he say it to her he had nothing against homosexuals.
Angela:: Peter, you’re being written by a horrible author. Don’t try to analyze
it.
But, his eldest daughter had the worst time when she was growing since she was
bi-racial. It would even be worst for his little girl if people find out that
she's gay. And Sandra did seem so true his little girl
Demona:: Skipping words again, I see.
probably he could accept her as Elisa's Girlfriend and her lover. This is the
ninety's now a days and things do change.
Mara:: (Babs) Welcome to the nineties.
But then again how is he goona telling his daughter and her girlfriend that he
is sorry for his actions. Sandra is gone and Elisa hates him…there's nothing
else for him to do.
Demona:: (Gendo) It’s better not to act than to hurt anybody.
As he continues to contemplate on the situation one of the answers to the
question came to him on the balcony.
Angela:: 42?
"Dad?" says a voice.
Peter turns around and sees Elisa standing there.
Pestilence:: Nake—OW! (glares at Lynati)
He then smiles a little bit. "Hello, Elisa."
"Listen I'm--"says both of them in unison. They then stop and they
look at each other. "No, you first." Says both of them again.
Mara:: (boredly) Gods I hate that cliché.
"Dad…"says Elisa. "I'm sorry…for my outburst. It's just that I
love Sandra too much to lose her to anybody."
"I know that." Says Peter.
"For all my life I have been looking for someone to love me and she loves
me for me.
Demona:: Sandra bears no resemblance to Cindy Crawford, though.
She makes me laugh and smile she has made me feel things that I never though
possible with anyone else. And If you don't accept our love…I'll have to live
with it." Says Elisa.
"I know that." Says Peter. "But, I'm scared for you and Sandra
you know how people treated people like you and I because of our heritage and
skin color.
Mara:: Because, you know, at this point Peter is soooo into his Native American
culture.
Now you have extra strike against you since you are gay. I'm afraid for you
Elisa." Says Peter.
"Afraid of what?" says Elisa.
"That one day.
Angela:: You know, that one.
Someone is goona
Lynati: A goon, perhaps?
take there hatred of homosexuals too far sand end your life or Sandra's. And Ii
don't want to see two and fine upstanding young women die before their
time." Says Peter.
Mara:: They’re both cops, it’s a given they’ll both probably be taken out
before their time.
Demona:: If there is any justice, Maza will be.
"That will not happen dad." Says Elisa." I will protect Sandra
like she will protect me.".
Demona:: How many more months to go, Death?
Death: Too many.
Peter walked over to Elisa and looks into her chocolate eyes
And smiles. "I know that." He then runs his hand through her raven
tresses."
All: *giant anime sweatdrop*
Lynati:: But...we were only joking about Elisa’s family being that
way...weren’t we??
My only regret is that I could not
Angela:: Be written into a fic by decent writer?
tell Sandra the same thing."
Elisa then smirks a bit. "Maybe you can.:" says Elisa.
Peter blinks. "What do you mean?"
Elisa smile grows wide. "C'mon Dad were going for a ride."
Demona:: If this turns into Timelessness I’m going to kill somebody.
---
Sandra Cantiago sat there on her couch with snifter of brandy in one hand and
the other as shifted through numerous pictures of her lover and partner.
Lynati (As Sandra) :: I wonder how much I can get for these on E-bay?
She took a sip and stared at the picture of her and Elisa at
Angela:: Sandra completely eclipsing the Ferris Wheel.
their first Actual date after their first night of making love. She smiled and
took another look through the pictures and saw picture of Elisa and her at the
policeman ball both dressed in sequin dresses complete with ice sparkles.
All: (start laughing hysterically)
Mara:: Don’t forget the big puffy sleeves and the tiaras.
She then sipped the Brandy and flipped through another picture...the one of
their first Halloween together. Sandra was dressed like a knight
Mara:: With fully functioning cod-piece.
while Elisa was dressed like a lady in waiting. She then licked her lips on the
when the gallant night invade her castle.
Mara:: Night sneaks in like a thief in… the night.
She then let out a sigh and was about to flip a page when a knock came at the
door.
"Coming." Says Sandra as she put her snifter down and walked over to
the door. She then opened the door and immediately found Elisa's lips pressed
to hers and enclosed in a strong embrace. "Mmmm..Elisa?" she looked
behind her and saw a smiling Peter.
Lynati:: I guess we all know what Elisa was doing in the car.
Demona: Drawing a smiley face on Peter’s dick?
"Um,…Mr. Maza?"
"Sandra…"says Peter. "May, I come in?"
"Um…sure…Sug." says Sandra.
"Thank you." Says Peter as he walks in. "Listen, Sandra…I
apologize for my behavior earlier on tonight. It was wrong and justly uncalled
for."
Mara:: Justly uncalled for.. another idioism by Invisi.
"I understand Sug." Says Sandra." You were only worried about
the welfare of or daughter."
Lynati:: Gyahhh! Sandra is Elisa’s MOTHER in this fic???
Pestilence:: Well, he did say “look what she’s done to her daughter” earlier...
She then wraps an arm around Elisa. "And, trust Me. Mr. Maza I would never
hurt your daughter in anyway. Elisa, means a lot to me Mr. Maza."
"I can see that…"says Peter. "If, I could do anything to make it
up to you Ms. Sandra...anything...just name it." Says Peter.
Sandra smiles. "Well, I have some Earl Grey on the stove…
Angela:: And he doesn’t like being there one bit.
if you would like to have a seat and have some tea with myself and Elisa."
"I would enjoy that very much." Says peter as he smiled.
Demona:: Forget the tea, be a good hostess and part with the hard liquor.
"Good!" says Sandra as she smiles. "I’ll go and get a extra
mug." She then walks into the kitchen area.
Aaron (as Peter) : When come
back, bring pie!
Peter smiles at Sandra as she hurries into the kitchen.
Lynati :: …J-E…L-L…O!
While Elisa looks at her smiling father and nudges him with her elbow.
Angela:: (Elisa) Quit the shark mouth, Dad, you’re creeping me out.
"Told you would like her." Says Elisa.
---
A Month Later…
Sandra and Elisa's Apartment
Elisa hung up on the last of the red and green ornaments in the apartment which
she and Sandra now share together. She stepped back and admired her work
pondering what else did the tree need.
Lynati (Jack Nicholson):: How about some kerosene for the whole freakin’ thing?
As she pondered on this moment she felt a pair of slim arms wrap around er
waist and she let out a short yelp as she was pulled
Death:: Into the mouth of Hell. The end.
into Sandra's embrace.
Death: Same thing.
The both of them enjoyed a slow
and lingering kiss
Lynati:: Elisa using the mouth in the *back* of her head
the tender mewling of Cagney was the only thing that broke the both of them
apart.
Lynati (as Sandra):: “Dammit, Elisa, you were supposed to get him in the oven
an hour ago! He won’t be ready to serve until
Both of them looked at the small grey kitten as it tussled with a sliver of the
icicles.
Mara:: Cagney 3, icicles nada!
The both of them stared at the small Cagney and smiled at it. The active Cagney
was another part to
Aaron: The inactive.
Sandra's home besides Elisa.
Elisa's family was very worried about the two of them being caught together
but, the young couple soothed their fears. And Sandra loved both of them with
all of her heart. As did Elisa but,
Lynati: Wait, *who* did Elisa’s
butt?
Pestilence: Don’t look at me, I’m
not voiced by Jeff Bennett.
one thing kept on tugging at her
from the back of her mind.
Mara:: Her hair getting caught on stuff? That hurts.
Sandra's Family. Never once did Sandra ever talk about her family or if the
subject that comes up Sandra always dodges the question or gets frighteningly
quite.
Death: No, Sandra is quite
frightening, not the other way around.
What is it about Sandra's Family
that scares her to the point of silence. Elisa had to know about this secret
that Sandra is hiding from her if she wants to take this relationship to the
next level.
Mara:: Secrets get in the way of EXP?
/she the broke away from Sandra's embrace and sat down on the couch. Sandra
sensed her girlfriend's sadness and a concerned look graced her beautiful
features.
Pestilence: Lesbian sense
tingling!
"Sug?" says Sandra as she crossed over
Death: Walk toward the
light!
to her. "What's wrong?"
"Sandra…"says Elisa." How long have we known each other?"
says Elisa as she pets Cagney absent-mindedly.
"Nine glorious months hun." Says Sandra." She then sat down on
the couch and wrapped around her.
Aaron: Like a gelatinous
cube engulfing its prey.
" So, what is all this being
all mopey is all about?"
Well, Sandra…"says Elisa. "I want to know more about you and your
family. Who they are…where they come form."
Angela: Are they all huge
trans-gender freaks like you?
Sandra's statement saddened. "Well ,I already told you about my family…you
seen then picture of my foster bro."
Mara: (As Elisa) What
was his name again? Lynch, Lurch, something like that?
Demona: (As Sandra)
Lunch.
"I know about him." says Elisa." But, what bout
Lynati: Of insanity made
Invisi Xavier think he could write?
your family--" starts Elisa
until Sandra gets off the couch and walks away form her.
"Please sug, don't press the subject...about it...you know how I feel
about my Family." She then clenched her fists tightly.
Aaron:: I guess
"No!" says Elisa as she rises from the couch and crosses the room
over to her. "WE are going to talk about your family." Says Elisa.
Death: Is that a royal we?
"Sug…please.." says Sandra as she started to shake. "I don't
want to talk about them…"she then sniffled and tears started to run down
her face.
Mara:: Fucking lesbians always have to TALK about everything.
Elisa could sense the pain in Sandra's voice and saw the effect that it was
having on Sandra. She
Demona: Reveled in it.
immediately started to feel
Lynati:: Her libido rising, and tried to think of ways to bring up even more hurtful
memories.
bad about pressing the subject. She then grabbed Sandra by her red sweater and
pulled her over to her.
Demona:: (Sandra) Hey, watch it, it’s impossible to replace things at Good
Will.
She could see that Sandra's eyes were filled with tears and her mascara started
to run.
Lynati (singing) :: Her two brown eyes are leaking like a sieve...
Elisa felt ten times worse than she already had felt.
Pestilence: And when you
figure she’s already slept with Sandra, that must feel pretty bad.
She reached up and rubbed the
side of Sandra's Face all the while trying to soother her.
Death: Smother her?
Good idea.
She then kissed her lips lightly
and tried a different approach.
Demona: Ice cubes and
cigarettes?
"Hun, tell me…what's wrong?" says Elisa.
Lynati:: It’s the wrong way.
Sandra then started to cry more. "Please….Sug...i don't want to tell you
about them I'm so ashamed…."she then started to cry.
Aaron: (As Sandra) My
parents are Richard Simmons and Jenny Craig!
Elisa led her over to the couch and sat the other woman down and took her hand
in hers and stared at Sandra with a soft glare.
Demona:: Yeah, cuz glaring makes everything better.
Mara:: You do enough of it, Demmie.
Demona:: Bite me.
She then ran her hand hands through the buxom Brunette's brunette tresses.
Mara: I’d make a redundancy joke here, but I don’t want to repeat
myself.
"Hun….tell…
Lynati: Did we really need for it
to say she’s speaking slowly with ellipses between every word?
Sandra then looked into Elisa's eyes and saw the soft compassionate glare
Aaron: Compassionate
glare? That’s an oxymoron, like compassionate conservative.
of the woman that loved her . She
knew she could open up everything
Angela: Except the pickle
jar.
to Elisa and tell her horrible
secret she has tried so hard to hide from others.
Mara: It can’t be any worse
than the ones we’re already said.
Pestilence: Probably won’t
be as entertaining either.
She then swallowed harshly and
just let out a deep breath.
"Hun….my real name is not Sandra Cantiago…"she looks away." It's
Chelsea
All:: -
Wells."
"What? You mean…"
Lynati: Yes Brad, a
vibrator.
says Elisa a little startled.
"Yeah Sandra never existed.
All: Hooray!
Demona: So, can we leave
now?
I am and always shall be Chelsea
Wells."
Aaron: Actually, she does
kind of look like Orson Wells, in his later years.
Says Sandra. "I'm sorry to
lie to you for so long." Says Sandra.
Death: And I wonder what
*else* Sandra’s been putting over on the amazing Detective Maza.
Elisa nods. "I s—
Demona: Suck. Yes, we
know.
Sandra held up her hand. "Please let me continue…I want you to know
everything."
Aaron: Everything?
This fic will never end!
Elisa remained silent and listened to her story.
"Well, Elisa I was born
Death: In a crossfire
hurricane.
Lynati :: In the explosion that created Lost Angles...
Demona: Hey!
to Elaine, and Travis
Pestilence: Bickle.
Wells. My, Father was a
well-known architect
Demona :: My, but we don’t care.
and my Mom was a High School teacher. When I was ten my parents adopted a
little boy. His name was Robert Tuskidero.
Mara:: What kind of last name is that?!
He had lost his mother to sickness when he immigrated here from Russia
Mara:: Tuskidero is Russian? (confused.)
and his father died in a construction site that my father had set up.
Death (Sandra) :: My family has been in the assassination biz for generations.
Somehow my father felt guilty about causing Robert's death so he adopted him
and he quickly became a part of my family. It wasn't until I turned thirteen
when my father started to drink after he got fired from a bog construction job.
Angela: That’s too bad.
We need more companies to create ecologically significant wetland instead of
destroying them.
He could have been easily hired
at other companies nut
Pestilence::: Heh heh heh
his drinking caused him to be late on many projects and after while no one wanted
to hire him. That really made him angry and he lashed out at us. I can remember
hearing my mom's screams as he smacked her around right in front of us. He even
smacked me around a couple times. I used to cover p my bruises with long sleeve
shirts and jeans to cover up the wounds.
Mara:: Ah, smell the abuse.
But, Tuskidero got it the worst since he would leap in and take the blows for
either myself or mother. He wouldn't scream or anything when Father struck him
he just absorbed the blows all the while looking into our eyes. I never knew
why Robert ever did it and after Dad got finished…oh my god his back was so
red…Robert didn't go to school for three days because of the injuries he
suffered because of us." Says Sandra.
Demona:: This would be heartbreaking if I didn’t think the fucking moronic cow
deserved it.
"Dear God!" says Elisa." Why didn't you get away from such an
asshole."
Lynati (as Dark Helmet) :: I knew it! I’m surrounded by assholes!
"We couldn't…like it or not Dad was still making a decent a lot of money.
Angela:: But you just said he couldn’t get work…
At his job at a new construction company tha just opened up and mother didn't
make enough money to support both of us…so we had to remain there."
Mara:: Fuck that, you can always leave.
She sighs." When I was fifteen I remember coming home to find my thirteen
year old step brother being arrested by police for striking my father.
Demona: Ah, refreshing irony.
From what Mom told me that Father was beating on her once again when Robert had
enough he hauled off and truck dad in the jaw.
Pestilence: (Plays big-rig
horn sound effect)
The hit fractured his jaw and
sent him tumbling down the steps." Says Sandra.
"How the hell did hell did Robert do so much damage to your dad with one
punch?" says Elisa.
Mara:: Same way Doug beat some guy’s head into the ground for seven minutes
straight, I guess.
"Well, when Robert turn Thirteen he already
Pestilence:: Hooked on both crack and PCP?
was 6'2 and was built like Line backer. My Mother guessed it was because of
Mara:: The fact he ate more than a Killer Whale at every meal.
his father's genes since he was a big man himself before he died. That and the
fact that and Robert worked out a lot in Dad's old gym when he wasn't home."
She sighs.
Aaron: (As Sandra) I
know this makes no sense, but it’s the script we’ve got to work with, so just
bear with me here.
" After the assault my
father had to have his jaw set and was on workman's comp while Robert was sent
off to Juvenile hall. After Dad's jaw set he immediately disowned my
stepbrother and kicked him out of the house. My guess was that he was afraid of
him. I never saw Robert after that day." She wipes away a tear.
Lynati:: Hey look, it’s that tear
from Watson’s fics!
"After that my Dad was free
to beat on us not using the flat of his hand by his fists. One day he beat my
mother so bad that she was put into a hospital for three days.
Demona: So, they both had
to go to the hospital for three days? At least the man delivers a
consistent beating.
When the cops arrived he told
them that she fell down a flight of stairs.
Death: (As Edward
Norton) Fell down some stairs.
Then …"she starts to shiver.
"when I was sixteen…I was alone in my house with Father. He had gotten
drunk again and he made his way into my room…where he proceeded to touch and
fondle me…
Mara:: Beatings, incest.. It’s like reading Dolores Claiborne all over again,
only without the eclipse.. or any artistic talent.
I tried to push him away but he beat me until I was black and blue…and when I
couldn't fight….he.." Sandra starts to sob uncontrollably and buried her
face into her hands,
"Sandra…."says Elisa.
"No…let me finish Sug." Says Sandra.
Demona: Must you?
"HE raped me…that bastard had taken my mother from me…my little brother,
and now my innocence. I remember crying myself to sleep as he drunkenly
staggered out the room zipping up his pants…saying that I was a good
fuck."
Mara:: Wow, lying on top of everything else. That bastard.
She swallowed hardly." It wasn't until a few months later I found out that
I was pregnant with his child.
Mara: It took you a few
months to realize you weren’t having your period?
Demona: Fucking moronic
cow.
I never felt so ashamed in my
whole life...I hated my father. A short while later my daughter was born. Thank
God she was a healthy little girl.
Lynati (Sandra):: I knew I could get $20,000 easy on the black market for her
internal organs.
But, I knew one thing after that incident I never wanted to return home again.
So, when the doctors said that I could leave I called my mother and told her
that I'm not coming home. That I'm running away with my daughter...I told her
that I didn't want to see my fucking father
Lynati:: Was that an attempt at a pun, or simply more bad writing? Nevermind.
Stupid question.
again and if she values her life she would leave him. My father wasn't proud of
my decision to leave
Angela:: That’s an understatement.
He called the police on me. I ran to the nearest bus station and used my last
of my money from my part-time job to buy a ticket on a train going out of
state. From that day.. Chelsea Wells died and Sandra Cantiago was born.
Mara:: Three guesses what her favorite video game was and the first two don’t
count.
Death: I’m finding it hard
to believe that this idiot could create a new identity that would stand up to
any kind of scrutiny.
On the train I finally came up with a name for my little girl…I called her Hope
Athena Cantiago.
Demona:: That’s a horrible name.
Death: Yes, but take the
initials and add a ‘k’ and it describes the author perfectly.
From there me and my daughter traveled from state to state. Finally coming rest
in
Aaron: Uh,
Where I met a wonderful
Mara:: -dominatrix-
woman named Karen. She took me and my daughter into her home and gave me a
part-time job while I enrolled in a local High-school and finished my
Mara: Sexual
education. After graduating I
became a full-time chef in Karen's kitchen
Pestilence: I bet.
where I learned how to cook.
Lynati:: Is that what they’re
calling it now?
As I worked with Karen we started
to become close and that's when I realized that I was in love with her.
Demona:: Gratitude and love are not the same thing.
Death: There’s a fine line-
Lynati: -between love and
loneliness? (Death & Lynati
exchange a high-five)
When I told her she told me that she loved me too and that she was a lesbian
and we quickly became lovers."
Mara:: Because there’s no such thing as a good deed, everything is motivated by
self-interest, since this Karen obviously knew she’d be getting play sooner or
later from such a grateful little girl. Gods, this fic is so fucking repellent.
It’s like watching a Lifetime movie. I fucking HATE Lifetime movies.
she let out a reminiscent sigh. Life was good…that is until I saw my father walking
in one day looking for me.
Demona:: It was easy to find her, just had to follow the trail of Mars bar
wrappers.
I knew I couldn't stay here in
"Why?" says Elisa. "Don't tell me you abandoned your only
daughter."
Demona:: You bitch! How dare you imply- ...ahem.
"No. I left her in good hands with Karen. I didn't want my daughter to
come with me since I
didn’t know where I was going to end up and I wanted my little girl to have a
hard life that I did.
Angela:: Sandra, you bitch!
So, I ran away again…finally ending up in
"What happened to Karen?" says Elisa. "Are yo
Lynati:: Ho.
till with her?" says Elisa
with a small frown on her face.
All (as Sandra) ::Only on weekends.
"No, Sug." Says Sandra. "Me, and Karen broke up a year ago…but
we still are good friends and visit and call my daughter whenever I have the
chance to. "she runs her hands through her hair and sighs. "She's a
A+ student in school...which makes me proud."
Pestilence: My kids can
beat up your honor student.
Lynati: I have an honor
student…tied up and stuffed in the trunk of my car.
"What about your mother?" says Elisa." Do you know what ever
happened to her? After you left."
"Well, I called her recently and told her how sorry I was for leaving her
with Dad. She forgave me for leaving her and wished secretly that she could
have left with me.
Mara:: Spineless fish. (to the reading audience) If you find yourself living a
Lifetime movie like this one, get out. Get out fast, with the clothes on your
back if that’s all you can manage. You’ll survive, you’ll be better off and I
fucking HATE Lifetime movies.
I told her everything about my little girl, Karen and you. She's very happy
that I could find love and wishes me and my daughter the best. When I asked her
about my father she said that he was killed when a burglar broke into their
house and shot and killed him over a year ago.
Angela:: How convenient and contrived.
Aaron: Translation, mom and
her new boyfriend offed him for the insurance.
After that she started her life over with a man that loves her more than life
itself and that she's pregnant with my little sister." Says Sandra.
Mara:: Amazing that she can conceive into her fifties.
"Elisa's eyes widened. "Good for her." Says Elisa. She then
smiles. "So, when do I get to meet your daughter?"
"I was actually thinking about having her to come up and live with me this
summer." Says Sandra.
Aaron: (As Elisa) And
you were going to spring this little rugrat on me when?
Demona:: Death, when will this cunt finally DIE, already?
"I can't wait to meet her." Says Elisa.
Pestilence: (As
Elisa) I can teach her some of the things you’ve taught me.
"Same here." Says Sandra. She then smiles." But, hey this is
supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year.
Death: Except for all the
suicides over the holiday season.
She then holds something over
head. "Guess…who's under the mistle toe?"
Mara:: Donner?
Lynati:: It...it just keeps getting worse... Okay everyone, we’re going to try
an experiment.
Death:: What kind of experiment??
Lynati:: One that doesn’t involve invasive surgery. At each writing mistake,
follow my example.
Elisa smiles. "Well, what are you waiting for?" says Elisa.
Lynati:: Most likely the next sentence.
Sandra grins and kisses Sandra
Angela:: (snickers)
Lynati:: Give me a “B” !
All:: B!
and kisses her slowly and [passionately on her lips. Slowly both of them let
out slow moan and continue to kiss slowly.
Lynati (slowly) :: Give me an “E”
All:: E!
Elisa then started to lie back on the couch almost crushing Cagney who nimbly
leaped from the couch just in time
Angela:: (Cagney) I thought I was gonna die!
as Sandra landed on top of her
Mara:: Immediately crushing and killing Maza.
Demona:: Now that is a pleasant thought.
kissing the nape of her neck while fondling her breast through the red sweater
she as wearing.
Elisa moaned slightly at the attention her breasts were getting enjoying the
way that Sandra was taking care of her. Sandra kissed Elisa one more time
before grabbing the sweater and slowly pulling it up and of Elisa's body and
noticed she wasn't wearing a bra. He admired
Lynati:: Give me a T!
All:: T!
the chocolate brown nipples which ere already hardened.
"My...my…Elisa...I do believe I'm having a prominent effect on you."
Mara:: Maza’s a she-male? Of course! That explains everything!
Pestilence: Goliath’s gonna
be in for one Hell of a surprise.
Says Sandra as she cupped her breasts and slowly massaged them all the while
flicking the nipples.
Demona:: Owie.
Mara:: Flicking? Who did she learn foreplay from, a second grader?
"Yeah…yeah…you are…"says Elisa breathlessly.
"Oh….Oh…Sandra…."
Sandra smiled and then slowly took the nipples between her teeth and slightly
teased it
Lynati :: Give me an “A”!
All :: A!
with her tongue. Elisa moaned loudly as she gripped the sides of the couch as
Sandra's tongue slowly worked their magic
Angela: Fulminos venite?
Aaron: Summon City Bus?
Lynati: Shishi Höködan?
Pestilence: Dragon Slave?
Mara: Cow kill?
Demona: Avada Kedarva?
Death: Crucio?
on her nipples.
All: Crucio.
Sandra then smiled and started a
fiery trail of
Demona:: -gasoline-
kisses down to her jeans and starts to undo them...all the while smiling.
Lynati:: Give me an “R”!
All: R!
She then removed her jeans and revealed er sexy pair of black satin panties.
Lynati:: Give me an “E”!
All:: E!
Elisa smiled at Sandra." You like your present Sandra?"
Lynati: No, I hate her just as
much as I did the past Sandra.
says Elisa with a coy smirk.
"Not as much as love you Elisa." says Sandra as she cam back up to
Elisa and kissed her slowly.
Elisa moaned slightly and now it was her turn to fondle.
Mara:: Turn based sex? I can see the GURPS people coming out with a manual for
that. (And they did. More proof that this MiST is taking forever to finish.)
Her hands came up and grabbed the twin orbs of flesh and started to massage
them. This time it was Sandra's turn to moan as Elisa continued to massage her
breasts. Sandra quickly sat back and removed her green sweater and exposed her
breast's.
Lynati:: Give me an “A”!
All:: A!
She then went back on top of Elisa kissing her slowly while her hand quickly
cupped her
and started to massage her through the flimsy material of her panties. Elisa
moaned loudly and slowly broke the kiss she leaned back on the couch as
Sandra...continued to massage her.
Mara:: Narration by Bill Shatner.
"My, Elisa you are so wet. "she licks her lips. "I might have to
do something to cure of that condition…"she smiles again.
Demona:: A soldering iron might help.
"Oh…Unghhh…Sandra…oh god…I'm so hot for you…please…hun…eat me!
Please!" screams Elisa.
Angela:: Bad choice of words, Elisa, you know Sandra’s a cannibal.
Sandra stopped for a second and stopped for second
Lynati:: Give me an “D”!
All:: D!
to remove her jeans and was only standing there in pair of white satin panties.
She then returned to ?
Pestilence:: She doesn’t know? I guess that’s not surprising.
Lynati:: Give me an “E”!
All:: E!
Elisa and removed her panties with teeth,
Death: Panties… with
teeth? Biting underwear? (Shudders)
and delved into the forest of
springy curls
Mara:: If hairs be wires then wires grow from her… pubes?
with her tongue while her own hand dove between her legs and she started to
massage herself. Elisa moaned as Sandra's tongue ran her way up her slit and
rested it monetarily
Demona:: That whore.
Lynati:: Give me an “R”!
All:: R!
on her clit which caused Elisa to nearly lose her mind.
Demona: No big loss.
The Buxom brunette was now
teasing hr clit
Lynati:: What’s that spell?!
All:: BETA READER!
by using quick tongue stroked to lick it.
Lynati:: I CAN’T HEAR YOU!
All :: BETA READER!
She used one of her free hands and inserted a finger into a mix
Mara:: And set the blender to liquefy.
and slowly started maneuver in and out of her pussy.
Pestilence: Is that
complicated? I mean, you should definitely vary the angle, depth, speed,
and power, but there’s only one way in and out.
"Oh, Oh…Sandra…oh Fuck me…! Oh, Fuck….nnghhhh..." screams Elisa.
"Oh, shit Sandra your so fucking good…."
Sandra moaned as she tortured her own clit with her fingers as she continued to
lick and ban
Lynati:: ONE MORE TIME!!!!
All: BETA READER!!!
Lynati:: THANK you.
her beautiful girlfriend. Elisa actually felt bad that she wouldn’t be able to
reciprocate the same on Sandra
Demona:: What with the huge blobs of fat in the way…
but this sight of Sandra eating her while she rubbed herself to orgasm was
almost too
Aaron: Disgusting for
words.
much for the young officer.
Elisa's moans started to become louder and louder as she reached the peak of
her orgasm.
Pestilence: And he rode
with his load to the tip of
All:
"Oh, Fuck! Oh Fuck! I'm going to come Sandra…oh…Fuck…I love
you..oh.,..nnngghhhhhh…" says Elisa.
Sandra broke away from Elisa's pussy s
Lynati :: She’s got more than one??
Pestilence: I bet Maza was
popular in high school.
she increased her finger speed on her own pussy." Oh, yes…come for me…my
beautiful Elisa. She then returned to her administrations.
Demona:: This isn’t the time for paperwork, cow.
Pestilence: Sounds like
something Hyena’d have to say.
Death: (Gives
"Oh, Fuck…Yes!!!!....I'm there...I'm cumming." Yells Elisa as she
explodes in Orgasm.
Mara:: Such an intense one that only the use of a capital letter will do.
Sandra only lets out a muffled moan as she explodes almost at the same time.
She then crawls up to Elisa and kisses her passionately and lazily duels with
her tongue.
Lynati:: En Gaurde!!
Elisa then pulls Sandra into her embrace as they continue to savor in their
kiss.
Sandra reluctantly breaks away from the kiss. "Now, that's how I celebrate
Christmas." she smiles.
Angela:: Poor Santa Claus.
"Did I jingle your bells Sug?"
Elisa nods." Yeah you did." says Elisa.
Mara:: I guess Maza really is a she-male, afterall.
" I love you Sandra…with all my heart."
Lynati: (As Elisa) And my knee
too!
"As, I do Sug." Says Sandra as she cuddled close.
Elisa kissed Sandra's brow and the both of them fell into a deep sleep.
A Month Later…
Angela:: That’s a hell of a deep sleep.
Death: We’re that much
closer to the end. I have no complaints.
Alleyways of
Lynati :: The Shades of Ankh-Morpork
Death:: Three weeks do not a month make.
9:15 p.m
Elisa and Sandra's patrol car has pulled up in front of an Electronics store
where a black Hyundai was parked in front of her Electronics store.
Lynati :: (sighs) We’ve already spelled it out for them, I don’t know what more
we can do.
Aaron: Except take a break.
All: (general mumbles of agreement from around the room; fade to black.)