Aaron [jcarnage@yahoo.com] (with Mara and Lynati)
From the “Erroneously Named”
Saga, we give you “The FunMist” (part 2)
Pestilence: Aaaaand we’re back!
Returning liiive to our ongoing coverage of the atrocity that is Invisi
Xavier’s “Friends, Partners, Lovers: Elisa's Tale!” Oh, the hu- er,
gargmanity!
Aaron: Is it just me, or is
Death: Like you’re not enjoying
the height and the gun?
Aaron : Err, moving right along…
Sandra reached inside her locker and pulled out a white
long-sleeve shirt and threw it on. "Alright I'm dressed
Mara:: Draping a shirt over your shoulders doth not dressed make.
so tell me what's on your mind Sugar."
Elisa turned around to face her. "Well, I'm here to tell you that I'm
your--"
Angela:: (Vader) Father!
"Hey, are you hungry?"
Aaron: (As Sandra) Because I've got something you can eat...
says Sandra as she started to lace up her shoes.
Demona:: She can reach her feet?
She stopped and looked over at her. "Oh, I'm sorry, I' can be so rude at
times. So what did you want to ask me?"
Elisa sighed again. "Finally.". She extended a hand towards her.
"I'm your new
All: Bed.
partner…Elisa Maza."
Sandra smiles at her and shakes her hand. "Nice to meet you Elisa. So now
that I know why you here. How about that dinner?"
Aaron: (As Sandra) You like sushi? I've got some great tuna…
Elisa was completely moved by the other woman's boldness.
Death: Moved to what? Nausea? Tears? Homicidal rage?
Aaron: I think that's our range of emotions.
They haven' even gotten to know each other for even an hour and she got invited
to he dinner with her.
Mara:: Normally that’s how a hook up happens. Can’t get to know someone in the
locker room at work, unless maybe you’re a slutty high schooler with a thing
for the janitor.
She was about to speak when she sees Sandra's features wrinkle into a frown.
Aaron: Remember, it takes forty-two muscles to frown, but it only takes four to
reach out and bitch-slap whoever's making you frown. See? (Reaches out and
slaps
Pestilence: (As Beavis) Ah! Cut it out, butthole!
"I guess that means no...huh Sug?" says Sandra.
Aaron: Yeah! No means no!
"No it's not like that." Says Elisa. "I mean you don't invite a
total stranger out to dinner." She then sits down on the bench.
Pestilence: (As Elisa) Meet them at a bar and let them fuck my brains out in
the back of my car, yeah, but not *dinner*.
Sandra sits with her. "That's why I want to ask you to have dinner with
me…I ant
Mara:: Adam?
to know a little bit more about
you. While you'll find out a little bit about me." She hen smiles.
Angela:: Buck haw!
"Sound good Sugar?"
Elisa blinks. "Um, sure, I guess I can have dinner with you. "She
stands. "Since I didn't have lunch today."
Aaron: (As the LEXX) I am very hungry.
"Good. Says Sandra as she stands up again. She then reaches into her
locker and pulls out a red bomber jacket and tosses it on.
Aaron: Aww, I sense foreshadowing...
Death: I sense that Maza will have to have that jacket tailored extensively if
she wants to wear it as anything other than a tent.
"Let's go then. I know a little place not too far from here."
"Alright just give me sometime to get out of these clothes." Says
Elisa.
Pestilence: And into something a little more... naked.
"Okay, Sug I'll meet you out I front in fifteen minuents." Says
Sandra as she leaves the locker room.
Elisa just watches Sandra leave. "Werid woman."
Death: Must be one of the Werid Sisters.
---
Fifteen minuets
Mara:: Now he’s misspelled minuents.. I mean… minutes.. in a whole new way.
Aaron: At least this one’s
actually a word.
later Elisa walked outside of the Police Precinct and looked around the for
Sandra. All of sudden there came the honking of horn. Elisa blinked as she
stared at The woman in the Driver's side
Aaron: *In* the driver’s side?
All: TOGGG!!!
Mara: That one’s old school, folks.
of a Black 67'
Death: If the next word is
Chevrolet.
Death: Small favors.
Elisa then walked over to the side of the car and just admired the detail and
sleekness of it. It must of cost the brown haired beauty a fortune to restore
it to tip-top shape.
Aaron: Only to have Carmen steal it.
Sandra smiled as she watched the young officer admire her wheels.
Pestilence: Well, it's about the only thing she *could* be admiring.
"You like?" says Sandra as she smiled.
"I like." says Elisa as she walks over to the passenger side door and
smiled at the leather interior. "How long did take to restore it?"
Sandra smiled. "I'll tell you along the way to dinner." says Sandra.
"She then motioned for Elisa to sit with a slight top of the seat.
"Hop on in."
Elisa slid into the car and closed the door behind her. Sandra smiled and
turned on the engine. A powerful rumble rippled through the detective's body as
the Chevrolet roared to life. Sandra just looked at the detective with an
another grin.
"You feel that Sug?" says Sandra. "That's pure power right
there!
Pestilence: It's the world's biggest vibrator.
It's my pride and joy." She then shifted the car into drive and pulled
into traffic.
---
The Dragon
6:35p.m
Sandra's car pulled up in front of The Dragon
All (Animaniacs) :: The Dragon!
The Dragon! The Dragon!
and both Sandra and Elisa got out
the car and walked up to the small restaurant.
Mara:: Hey, she never told us how long it took to restore the car!
Demona:: Doesn’t anyone PARK in this universe?
Angela:: Yeah, seems a shame that her highly restored Chevy is going to get
towed any minute.
Sandra opened the door and let Elisa inside of the establishment. As soon as
one of the females walked in
Aaron: The other one made a break for it.
they were greeted by an doughy middle-aged balding man in his mid 40's/ From
the looks of the guy...he didn't even know how to dress himself
Aaron: (As Ralph Wiggums) I dressed myself.
well everything mismatched.
Mara:: Master has given Dobby a sock!
But, Sandra seemed to know him pretty well as they talked and joked a bit
Demona:: (Elisa) My new partner is SO FAT….
All:: How fat was she?
before getting down to business.
Demona:: (Elisa) Oops, have to get back to the script…
"Oh, Berto this my new partner Elisa Maza." Says Sandra as she
motioned to her.
"Its-a so good to meet ya!"
Aaron: It's a-me, a-Mario!
says Berto. "My, name is-a Berto I'm the owner of the Dragon." he
then motioned the girls to follow him. "So, Sandy you want-a the usual
seat?
Pestilence: (As Berto) The one-a by the ladies room-a. So you can-a, you
know... (Makes nudge nudge, wink wink gesture)
"the portly man then motioned for the two of them to a booth near the
window.
"Sure." Says Sandra as she slid into one side. "Can I also have
my usual please. "
Demona:: (Mario) Ah, you a-wanted the gallon of lard with-a the straw, eh?
Mario make it-a good for you…
she then looks over at Elisa. "You want a menu sugar?"
"Um, yes, please." Says Elisa.
Angela: (Elisa) Considering I’ve never been here before.
Demona: Fucking moronic cow.
Berto nodded and then motioned over to a woman with her hair done in a
ponytail. She was busy flirting with a darker skinned man with his hair down in
Dreadlocks.
Death: Elisa Maza, crack detective, fails to notice his resemblance to the guy
she chased down the alley earlier.
Demona:: That should be Elisa Maza, detective on crack.
Berto then furrowed his brow at the both of his employees.
"Angel, will you bring Ms. Maza a menu please!" says Berto as his
voice rises with anger. He looks at the dark skinned man. "And you Xavier!
Give Sandra her usual."
Mara:
Xavier then grumbled something intelligible
Death: Unlike this fic...
and waked back into the kitchen.
Angela:: He’s been asleep all this time?
Death: While he was writing… it explains a few things.
While Angel grabbed a menu off the counter and walked over to the trio and
handed it to Elisa.
"So, what do you want?" says Angel.
Angela: You and everyone whose decided to rip off either my name or my mother’s
old pet name to die.
Elisa browsed over the menu a few times and after choosing the meal she wanted
she handed the menu to Angel and she walked away.
Berto just huffed at the waitress.
Mara:: Hey, puff puff, give. That’s the rule.
"Sorry, about her Ms. Maza they just started working here today."
Says Berto.
Aaron: And soon, they'll own the place. Behold the power of self-insertion.
"Is there anything else I can get for you?"
Death: You could get us the Hell out of here.
"No thanks." Says Elisa.
Aaron: Suit yourself Maza. We won't be the ones stuck sleeping with your date.
Mara: No, we'll just be stuck watching it. (Shudders)
"Alright ,you orders will be done in fifteen minuents." Says Berto
before he walks off.
Demona:: Hey, what a-happened to-a Berto’s colorful accent-a?
As soon as Berto was out of earshot Elisa looked at Sandra who at the time was
looking out the window, watching the passers going by.
Mara: Sizing them up, picking out the old and the sick…
Elisa watched Sandra for a minuents before finally speaking to her.
"Why did you invite me to Dinner Sandra?" says Elisa.
Sandra looked over at her and smiled smugly."
Pestilence: 'Cause I heard you were easy.
Causes I want to get know you better that's all.
Pestilence: Right, what I said.
I mean I'm going to be working with you for a certain amount of time.
Death: About ten months tops, if the intro was anything to go by.
Aaron: This whole fic was something to go by... Without stopping.
So I could at least get to know you. So…" she rests her elbows on the
table and stared at her." Tell me a little about yourself."
"Well, basically I was born and raised here in
Death: In 1985, Elisa Maza was seventeen years old. She hadn't even graduated
high school yet. (Everyone else stares at him) What? I'm supposed to keep track
of these things. Know thy enemy.
starts to Elisa until Sandra stopped her with a raise of her hand.
"No, no, Sugar...says Sandra. "I mean tell me bout who you are? Do
you have dreams or any goals?
Pestilence:: You know, like the one where you’re at work, in your underwear,
during a fire drill?
Death: Is that a dream or a goal,
Pestilence:: Yes.
Where do you see yourself in the next five years."
Aaron: (As Elisa) In love with a big purple monster, and leading a high-risk
lifestyle.
Says Sandra. "That's what I meant."
"Well…."says Elisa. "I do want to become captain of the precinct
someday. .." says Elisa as she looks at her.
Death: (As Elisa) Apparently I have to become a lesbian, but I figured you
could help me with that.
Sandra smiles. "That's great Sug it 's good to have goals in your life.
It's nice to see you have some direction in life." she smiles. "Do
you have anything to ask me hun...I'm a open book."
Pestilence: So feel free to open me up and... look around.
Elisa then looked over at Sandra.
Demona:: (Elisa) Is it a glandular problem?
"Why did Berto call out
"Well, It's actually the name of a cookie. You know Pecan Sandies...their
shortbread cookies and they taste great." She snaps fingers. "I
should buy you some they taste great.
Pestilence: (As Sandra) I like to crumble them up and sprinkle them on my pussy
before-
Aaron:
"she looks to see Xavier carrying some plates over to them.
Aaron: (As Steve Buscemi) Hi, I'm Buddy.
"Speaking of food…."
Xavier nods at the to ladies and walks away.
Death: (As Steve Buscemi) Christ, I'm glad I don't tip.
The two ladies smile at their meals and heartily dig in pausing ever so often
to talk about their lives and there
Angela:: Told ya (points) over there.
dreams. After dinner Sandra invited to drive Elisa home which she gladly
accepted.
Mara:: Probably because Elisa doesn’t have a car and has no clue how to get
home from there anyway?
The two ladies get into the Chevrolet and ride off into the night.
Aaron: Thelma and Louise anyone?
---
Elisa's apartment
9:35p.m
Death :…five minutes after the
chase scene with Locksley.
Sandra's Chevrolet pulls up in front of the young detective's apartment
Mara:: Whoa, hovercraft Chevy!
and Elisa gets out.
Aaron:: (Elisa) Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Splat.
She was about to walk inside her building when she stops in her tracks and
looks over at Sandra.
Pestilence:: Just don’t look down, Maza, that’s how you fall.
She then smiled slowly at the tanned brunette sitting in the Chevrolet with a
small smile on her face. Elisa thought about letting Sandra come in for a few
minuents she did buy her dinner in the least she could do was at least invite her
in for coffee or something like that.
Pestilence: Or something. Heh-heh-heh-heh.
After few minuents of second
All: (Collective wince)
Elisa made her up mind and walked back over to the car.
Demona:: Hey, asshole, what do you say when you wanna get laid?
"Hey, Sandra…"says Elisa.
"Yeah, Sug?" says Sandra as she looks at her.
Angela:: (Elisa) I’ve got something to say…
All:: Then sing it asshole, this is a musical!
"Would you like to come up for a cup of coffee or
All:: Starts with an s- so.. some… s….
something like that?"
All:: What a fucking genius.
Aaron: Let's recycle some prose into dialog, hmm.
says Elisa as she fidgets a bit.
Pestilence: Coffee being a euphemism for sex, after all.
Death: According to you, *everything* is a euphemism for sex.
Sandra's smile just grew wider.
Aaron: (As Sandra) Damn, she *is* easy. Score!
"Sure, hun. I would love to." She then shuts off the engine and
excite the car.
Pestilence: I don't even want to know how you excite a car.
Death: Well, first you unlatch her chest panel and look for the interface
cable... (Everyone else stares at him)
Aaron: No more of Stormy's Transformers fic for you.
"Let's go."
Elisa smiled and motioned Sandra to follow her inside the complex. The both of
them get on the elevator and ride the lift to Elisa's floor.
Mara: Guys, I'm having a Matt Watson flashback...
Demona:: You’ll do anything to plug your fics, won’t you?
Mara:: Well, since the GFA reopened I lost all my hits…
When the doors opened both women stepped off and walked over to her apartment
door and entered.
Aaron: And the flood of unimportant narrative continues...
Death: That implies that something in this fic *is* important.
As soon Elisa entered the apartment a furry grey kitten pitter pattered over to
Elisa and meowed at her. Elisa then stopped down and petted the kitty on its
head softly.
"Cute, Cat." Says Sandra. "Does the little one have a
name?"
Elisa then stood up again. "Yeah, I named him Cagney." Says Elisa.
"Let me go make that Coffee now." He then walks off to her kitchen
leaving Cagney and Sandra standing there.
Angela:: Uh… Is there something about Elisa we don’t know?
Elisa then turned back to them. "Oh, make yourself at home."
Pestilence: Believe it or not, that doesn't mean get naked.
Aaron: Made that mistake have we?
Pestilence: Who said it was a mistake?
"Thanks." Says Sandra as she moved over to the couch and took a seat.
Demona: Thus filling the entire three-cushion sofa…
Cagney meowed at Sandra and scampered after her and stopped by the couch. After
measuring the jumping distance it leaped upon one of the cushions.
Mara: Of fat that rolled above Sandra’s belt.
Sandra smiled at the little kitty and held out her slender hand to her.
Death: (As Sandra) Here’s a left-over from my snack earlier. Want some, little
kitty?
Pestilence: You know, they say inside every fat person there’s a skinny person
screaming to get out.
Aaron: Three skinny people, in Sandra’s case.
Cagney sniffed Sandra's hand and then
Death: Bit it.
Aaron: No, that only happens when they get bored with being petted.
Pestilence: Unless the hand in question smelled like fish...
nuzzled his small head underneath allowing Sandra to pet her.
All: …
Mara: Hermaphroditic kitty porn?
Aaron:: Ugh, no more Oscarfic references.
Sandra chuckled as she petted and stroked Cagney.
Pestilence: Well, I see Sandra doesn't waste time. She's already stroking
Elisa's pussy.
Aaron:
"Cute, cat hun." Says Sandra as she continued to pet the cat.
"So, where did you adopt the little fella from?"
"Well, actually I found him."
Demona: Right next to a Chinese restaurant.
Came Elisa's voice from the kitchen."
Pestilence: Well, her voice is coming, how 'bout the rest of her.
Death: Actually, Maza was using her little known ventriloquism skill to make a
break for it.
Aaron & Mara: (Singing)
We are both ventriloquists, ventriloquists, ventriloquists…
When I was coming home form a shift I found the poor thing literally starving
to death near one of the apartments trashcans.
Mara:: Uh oh, even the cat has an angsty backstory, be afraid. Be very afraid.
So ,I decided to take him in and he has become attached to me ever since."
"You have a heart o f gold hun." says Sandra as she scratched the cat
underneath the chin.
Pestilence: Heart of gold, nerves of steel, balls of brass, that's me.
Death: And brains of shit...
Cagney meowed and quickly leaped into the young woman's lap and meowed once
more at Sandra. Sandra smiled and petted the cat some more enjoying the cat's
purring and meowing.
Pestilence: (As Ted Nugent) Well, I make a pussy purr with the tongue and the
hand...
Elisa came out form the kitchen with two steaming cups of coffee in each hand.
Aaron: She made four cups of coffee?
Death: Maybe she’s afraid to fall asleep around Sandra.
She smiled as she watched Sandra stroke her pet kitty. It seemed that Cagney
really liked her too. So did Elisa she never meant anyone like Sandra before.
Angela: How often do you have carnies over for dinner?
She had that certain kind of spark that just attracts people towards her.
Aaron: Like moths to a flame...
She also has a very loveable attitude about life the world could end right here
and now and Sandra would still be smiling at the end.
Death: That's called being a moron.
Demona: Or on Vicodin.
That kind of attitude gave Elisa a warm feeling all over being close to her
like this.
Mara: No, that’s just the ambient temperature rising from all the heat Sandra
gives off. Fat people are very warm.
Aaron: They are not however, jolly.
Even though she only known the buxom Brunette for a mere three hours she has
felt closer to anyone in years.
Death: Maza's just basically a lonely, desperate person, isn't she? It explains
so much...
Pestilence: Well it takes one to know one.
Elisa shook herself from her thoughts and walked over to Sandra and Cagney with
a small smile on her face.
Demona: Hey Maza, if you want that expression permanently you could always get
a lobotomy.
"It seems that you two are getting along quite fine." says Elisa as
she sits the mugs down.
"Yeah, we are." Says Sandra. She then observes the room. "Nice
place you got her Sug."
"Thanks." says Elisa." So, Sandra you know a little about me.
Could you tell me a little bit about yourself."
"Okay." says Sandra as she pets Cagney. "Well, I was born in
Angela: (As Elisa) No no, I want to know something *about* you. Don’t you have
any goals or dreams? Where do you see yourself in five years?
Arlene, Texas
Aaron: Now Invisi lives in New York, so I'm going to bet the only reason he
knows about Arlene Texas, is because Mike Judge decided to set that fucking
awful, badly-animated, worse-written piece of shit King of the Hill there. And
I wanna say, from the bottom of my Texan heart, FUCK YOU MIKE.
um my mother was a
Aaron: Hamster.
school teacher.
Aaron: Same difference.
M father
Mara: Smelt of elderberries.
was an architect. I basically almost lived my whole life in Arlene. That is
until I.." she sighs. "Moved."
Mara: Dum dum dum!
Aaron: Well, that must be hard for her.
Elisa blinks. "Move where?" says Elisa.
All: Move how?
"Well, Sug when I was sixteen I moved around a lot since my dad was also o
the move. Was in
Death: Just like you'll be in ten months.
"That's nice." says Elisa." So do you have any siblings or
anything?"
Sandra then removes Cagney from her lap so she can reach her coffee.
All:: (snicker)
She then brought it to her mulberry colored lips and blew on it once before
taking a small sip.
Pestilence: At least something's getting blown around here.
"Just a step-brother."
Elisa smile.
Demona: Demona retch.
" That's good. Do you know him well?" says Elisa as she reached over
for her cocoa.
Aaron: Where did the cocoa come from?!? How many mugs did she bring in here?!?
Sandra said nothing and just sipped at her coffee again.
Aaron: Open mouth, insert foot.
Mara: Elisa must have been taking lessons from
"Elisa knew she probably stepped over bounds on that question. She then
quickly changed her subject."
Pestilence: I guess Elisa figured out that Sandra is too stupid to realize the
subject is being changed without being told.
Well, um, d you like living here in NY? "
"Of course I do Sug." says Sandra regaining her beautiful smile once
again. "NY is so different from Arlene so many things to see and do."
Mara: So many fetish bars to visit.
she smiles. "It's my kind of a town."
Pestilence: It has the Village.
"Mine too." Says Elisa. She then smiled back at Sandra."
The two women continued to drink coffee and talk for a few more hours before
Sandra decided to leave since she had shift he next day.
Aaron: If they're partners, shouldn't their shifts match up?
The both bid each other good night as Elisa lead her to the door and opened it
for her.
Death: Hope you got some grease, Maza.
Sandra smiled at her one more time before exiting. Elisa then closed the door
behind her and let out a sigh.
Pestilence: (As Elisa) Whew. I was afraid she was stuck fast for a second
there.
Cagney leaped of the couch and pitter pattered over to Elisa and meowed. Elisa
bent down and picked up Cagney and cradled the animal in her arms.
Pestilence: Now Elisa's going to stroke her pussy.
"So, what do you think Cag?" says Elisa. As she looked into Cagney's
eyes.
Angela: (As Cagney) Look into my eyes… You will make me dinner… The finest
albacore tuna…
"Do you like this Sandra?"
Death: (As Cagney) She's evil! She tried to kill me! Kill her first!
Cagney meowed and nuzzled into her chest. Elisa then smiled contently and
grinned once more. "Yeah, I like her too."
Three Months Later…
Julian's Jewelers
Pestilence: Julian’s
Jewelers, where we take your family jewels seriously.
Angela: Does everything happen at thirty-five after in this universe?
Elisa and Sandra were pinned down by hail
Mara: Hail? In JUNE??? In
Demona: Even God hates this fic.
Death: Or at least Odin.
of gunfire inside the small uptown jewelers. As they traded Gunfire with two
members of the Lost Boys. The gang was caught in the middle of robbery when
Sandra and Elisa showed up.
Aaron:: Don't you just hate unexpected interruptions at work?
The dread-locked leader
Mara:: (As WCIII undead Dread Lord) I’m a dread lord, not a drug lord!
was about to till his men
Death:: Before they were planted.
to run when two other members immediately open-fired on the two officers.
Mara:: Drenching them in jizz.
Demona:: Good help is so hard to find.
But, now they lay lifelessly on the floor with a pool of blood
Mara:: (sings) I’m lying in a pool of my own blood…
surrounding them from where Elisa's and Sandra's bullets have struck them.
Quickly the gang for Five was reduced to two.
Aaron: Ummm, five minus two equals three, not two.
As they continued to gunfight the supposed largest member
Demona: Men always exaggerate that.
of the Lost Boys stopped down and picked up one of the store's display cases
with ease while the dread-locked leader covered him.
Mara:: -with jizz?
The giant then was about to toss
Mara:: his load.
Demona:: Gee, you’re real mature tonight.
Mara:: Hee!
the display case at Elisa and Sandra until there back-up arrived on scene. The
giant growled and hurled the display case at the to officers.
Aaron:: (giant) Catch!
The first officer barely dodged out of the way while the second officer too k
the brunt of it full force as the case hit him with the force of train
Angela:: Oh please, it wouldn’t have any more force than a flying display case
normally would. (pause) What the hell am I saying?
and pined
All:: (fake sobs)
hi underneath his weight.
Angela:: (Display case) Hi!
Mara: Where do you shop?
"
Mara:: Shoddy taste.
The slight distraction caused by the two officers let the two Lost Boys members
to beat feet
Demona:: It was a little known fact that the jewelry stores floor was made
entirely of grapes, and the Lost Boys were huge wine connoisseurs.
out the rear entrance.
All:: …
With Elisa and Sandra not too far behind the both of them. The chase continued
to go down the small alleys and back out again into the streets of
Aaron: I'm sorry, that's just a disturbing image.
Pestilence: You mean two lesbians chasing cock?
Aaron: I was thinking more along the lines of sprinting penises actually, but
yeah, that too.
as they hopped ver Trashcans and leaped over fences. Elisa soon pulled away
from Sandra and gained the lead on the chase.
Pestilence: That's because Sandra isn't exactly what you'd call aerodynamic.
Demona: She’d probably be faster if she rolled after them.
Pestilence: (Plays the scene from Raiders of the Lost
Arc with the giant boulder)
She then chased then watched as the two men ran into another Alleyway.
Mara:: (Men) Doff! Ow!
Elisa was about to make that turn until the roar of engine could be heard.
Elisa gasped as she saw a Hyundai
Death: (As Kenny Smith) Hyundai!
barreling out of the alley. But, before the car could make contact Sandra
flying tackled Elisa
Demona:: And Maza is sacked for a loss of yardage. And here comes the kicking
team! Strangely, Maza rhymes with their next play…
out of the way just milliseconds before the car made contact.
Aaron: (Sighs) Redundant.
Death: This whole damn fic is redundant.
Both women watched as the car made a sharp right turn and speed up the alleyway
and tore down the street.
Mara:: Speed up to tear down? Driving is confusing…
Aaron:: Especially in
Sandra then looked down at Elisa." You alright, Sug?" says Sandra as
some of her brown strands fell into her face.
Aaron: (As Elisa) You're... crushing... me.
"I'm fine." says Elisa. She blushes a bit. "Um, would you mind
getting off me."
Pestilence:: Normally I would say “getting me off” but … ugh.. don’t need the
mental image.
"Sorry." Says Sandra as she got up and then offered her a hand
up." You scared me there for a bit Sug."
Mara:: It’s only fair, you frighten us continually.
Elisa took the offered the hand and smiles as she is pulled up to her feet.
"Yeah, I have to admit that I was scared they're myself.
Death: C'mon, it was a Hyundai. They're tiny and fifty percent plastic.
But, I must thank you for rescuing me.
Angela:: Damn Miss Manners.
But, how are we goona to tell Chavez that we let the Lost Boys get away
again?"
Sandra rested a hand on Elisa's shoulder. "She'll understand hun.
Demona:: (Sandra) She never had any faith in your competence to begin with.
Come on let's go back and to the station and give the captain our report."
Elisa reluctantly nodded. "Yeah, let's."
Sandra smiled back at Elisa and slowly lead her back to the marked car.
Mara:: Marked car?
Aaron:: Well you know,
Sandra opened the door for Elisa and both of them got in and started there way
back to the station. For the last few moths
Angela:: Buy some cedar chips, it’s not like you have another set of clothes,
Elisa.
both Elisa and Sandra have become the best of friends
Aaron:: (sings) Friends for life.. Friends for life… I don’t know... The rest
of the words…
ever since they started working
together. They made quiet a team
Pestilence: Shhhh.
on the force and were very influential in helping out against some of the
lesser gangs in the area.
Death:: But no good at all against any of the major ones.
When they weren't out patrolling they were seen at The Dragon having Lunch or
even
All: Sex.
dinner there. Elisa really liked being around Sandra her warm
Mara:: Enormous body…
smile seems to be the only thing that could brighten her shitty days
Mara:: Dude, you do not want it to be bright on a shitty day.
and her loyalty and friendship has gotten her throughout the worst of times.
Death:: It was the worst of times; it was the worst of times.
And she was pretty sure that Sandra felt the same way about her I mean she even
risked her life for her.
Demona:: YOU STAY OUT OF THIS, AUTHOR!!!
But, that's what partners do for each other.
Pestilence:: You mean, put out?
Death:: Remind me never to partner with you again.
But, Elisa's feelings for Sandra were starting to go deeper
Mara:: (Mikage) Deeper.. go deeper.
than a partnership sometimes she felt warm and squishy was around her.
Aaron: (As Elisa) Hey Sandy, do you ever have those days when you feel... not
so fresh?
She would do anything to be with her to be near her to touch her.
Mara:: (sighs) To be with her, to be near her, to touch her. And frankly, I
don’t see why.
She always blushes when ever Sandra touches her hand who even hugs her from
time to time.
Pestilence:: Nobody, no one has arms big enough.
She has even daydream of touching Sandra back, holding her hand and kissing
her. Yes the thought of her cherry red lips meting in Sandra's in more than a
mere peck on the cheek her hands…
Mara:: (sings) And they call it puppy love…
Demona:: Mainly because the two in question are bitch mongrels in heat.
"Hey, Sug you all right?" says Sandra as she smiles at her.
Pestilence: (As Elisa) Shut up bitch! You're ruining a perfectly good fantasy!
"Huh? Wha?" says Elisa as she shook her head from her thoughts only
to find herself in the precinct's parking lot. "Must have been daydreaming
again." she thought.
Angela:: (sings) What could it mean to a daydream believer and a homecoming
queen…
She then looked back up at Sandra. "Yeah, I'm fine."
Sandra smiles at Elisa." Alright hun. Come on let's go talk o the
captain."
Pestilence:: D’ya know how to treat a lady? And her sister? And her roommate?
And someone she kinda knows from the gym? Then you got a little bit of the
Captain in you.
Aaron: As opposed to all
those PotC fans, who wanna get a little bit of the Captain inside them.
---
Captain Chavez's Office
Captain Chavez paced around the office in her white dress shirt and grey slacks
Mara:: Must be some other Captain Chavez then. OUR Captain Chavez only wears reasonably
priced purple business attire from Mandee’s.
as she listens to
Angela:: Melissa Etheridge, Ani DiFranco, Fiona Apple, Sarah Maclachlan…
Sandra relay her report to her about the Jewel
Angela:: Her too.
heist that happened earlier on the day.
Pestilence: Someone had stolen a ton of CD cases.
By the looks of things she was under a lot of pressure from the higher-ups
about her precinct not being able to deal with these Lost Boys
Pestilence:: Well if you had listened to the Frog Brothers you could have had
this wrapped up by now.
and know this new gang shows up out of nowhere calling themselves the berserks.
Aaron: Must be an otaku gang.
Death: Do they all have big swords?
Death: (pretends to ignore
As the last of Sandra's report
ended Chavez returned to her seat and sat down.
"So ,they got away?" says Chavez as she runs a hand through her short
brown hair.
Death: And I'll... maim the short-haired girl.
"Terrific. These Lost Boys are starting to become a thorn in our
side."
Pestilence: Better your side then your ass.
"So , what do you think we should do Cap'n?" says Sandra as she looks
at her.
"We'll probably have to watch them more closely from now on.
Mara:: Well no wonder you haven’t caught them yet if you aren’t really paying
any attention, to, you know… regular police-type stuff! Stupid heads!
Demona:: That… was profound.
Mara:: Bite me.
This Jewelry heist was the last straw.
Aaron:: Did it break Sandra’s back?
I mean not only do we have these Lost Boys getting away from us. Another gang
is doing it too. Along with that were starting to lose ourselves in the eyes of
the public." says Chavez.
Death: Right, like they had so much faith in you to begin with. You're the
NYPD, remember?
"There's something we can do." says Sandra.
Death: Shoot them all forty-two times and let God sort them out?
"I don's know Cantiago."
Pestilence: (As Chavez) But I'd sure like to.
Says Chavez. "But, I'll think of something I always do." Says Chavez.
Mara:: Photographing naked three year-old boys is not the solution, Chavez.
"Is there anything else we can do for you Cap'n." says Elisa as she
looks at her.
Aaron: Um... Fight to the death!
"No, Maza that's all for now." Says Chavez as She waves hand
dismissingly at them ."Dismissed."
Mara:: The fic is skipping.
Both Maza and Cantiago rose from their seats and left the Captain's office.
Chavez nods and she observes the picture of her daughter and smiles a bit a
small smiles crossing over her face.
Death: Deja vu, or just repetitious prose?
She then leaned back in here chair and started to contemplate what to do next.
Aaron: Get out of this series as fast as possible?
---
Outside of the office both Elisa and Sandra walked down the hall talking about
the current situation. Basically once again Sandra is the talkative one while
Elisa is silent throughout the most of the conversation.
Mara:: I know this is a horribly OOC flashback but Elisa is the talkative one.
She talks to herself for Christ’s sake.
Mainly Elisa is not listening to anything Sandra is saying
Aaron: Can you blame her?
her mind on her own personal feelings for Sandra. Are there just partners, friends
or something more? Elisa had to know…
Angela:: (Puck) Uh-huh, like I’d tell you. Wake up!
Death:: Ugh, I wish we could.
but before she could speak Sandra walks directly in front of her.
Death: Blocking the entire hall...
"Hey, Sug are you sure you're okay?" says Sandra with a concerned
look on her face. "You have been mopey all morning." She wraps an arm
around here. "Come on Sug tell me what's wrong."
"It's nothing Sandi." Says Elisa. "It's just that I'm caught up
in a few problems nothing more."
Demona:: Not that I care really, but a few problems is more than nothing. Of
course, it’s also quite a few too few.
Sandra arches a brow at her. "I see. "She smiles. "Well, Sug I
have the perfect way to get you off
Pestilence: It's twelve inches long and vibrates like a jackhammer.
Angela:: (can’t help herself for a moment) So that’s what you’ve replaced it
with.
Pestilence:: Maaaybe. Wanna see?
Angela:: Ugh! You… uh..
your problems."
"How?" says Elisa.
Sandra smiles.
Demona (Sandra): Vicodin.
"Dinner at my place
tonight."
Mara:: Nothing like food poisoning to get your mind off things.
Elisa's eyes widen with shock.
All:: Bzzt. Ouch. Bzzzt. Ouch.
Mara:: I never get tired of that one.
Out of all the lunches and dinners that they have had together it's always
ended up at her place.
All: In bed.
This is the first time she is goona
Aaron: (Winces)
see Sandra's home.
Demona:: But you drive by the FDR underpass every day…
But, as she looked into the brunette's blue eyes and could see the hint of
mischievous in them. She mentally wondered what did she actually have planned
for the both of them.
Pestilence: (As RHPS narrator) What indeed?
Since this might be the right time to confess her feelings for Sandra she
smiled back at her.
Death: (As Cartman) I hate you Kenny.
"Alright I'll come."
Pestilence: Again and again and again...
Says Elisa. "Should I dress in something special or something like that?
Pestilence: Crotchless panties, leather bodysuit, Sailor fuku...
Mara:: If you go as a Starlight, all three at once.
I mean this is the first time 'm visiting the great
Demona:: big… fat.. ugly.. bloated… nasty…
Sandra's home."
Sandra laughed out loud." If you want to Sug." says Sandra with a
smile." I will not hold you to any special sort of dress code."
All: Toga! Toga! Toga!
She then grabs a paper and pen from her desk
Mara:: Her desk is in the hall?
Demona:: It was the only room big enough for her to go through the doors and
fully turn around in.
and scribbles down her address. She then hands it to her." Here come to
this address…I'll be waiting for you."
All: In bed.
"All right I will." Says Elisa.
"Good." Says Sandra "See you tonight Sug." She then walks
off towards the locker room.
Elisa looks at the address. "Yeah, see you tonight."
---
Sandra's Apartment
June 15th, 1990
Death: Eight months and counting...
7:58 p.m
Elisa Maza stood out in front of Sandra's apartment door in her blue Jean
jacket white t-shirt and denim jeans.
Death: Aren't jeans usually denim?
Her fixed on the piece of paper that Sandra has given to her. Her mind was
contemplating weather
Aaron: (As Elisa) Well, it's partly cloudy now, but it could rain later...
Meanwhile, we've got a tropical storm forming off
to go inside or not. But, Sandra is her friend and she dad promise
Aaron: She swore on her father?
that she would come in for dinner.
Mara:: Look who’s coming to dinner.
Aaron:: Look who’s coming on dinner.
But, a part of her was trying to figure out how to tell Sandra how she felt
about her.
Pestilence: Groping her usually works for me.
I mean what If Sandra didn't like her the way that she liked Sandra? What if
Sandra shuns er for feeling this way from her?
Aaron: What if the author discovered spell check?
Death: What if we cared?
But, Elisa knows that she couldn't walk around or be with Sandra without
letting her knows on how she felt.
Elisa sighs. "Here goes nothing."
Demona:: At least you’re aware of what you are, Maza.
Says Elisa as she knocked on the door.
The door opens and there is Sandra standing there in a white dress shirt and a
pair of loose fitting
All: (Snicker)
denim jeans. A few strands of her hair hanging lightly I front of her eyes.
Mara:: She couldn’t bother to brush her hair before a date? Shit, what a
fucking moronic cow.
Sandra smiled at Elisa widely.
Angela: Vapidly.
Demona:: Like a fucking moronic cow.
"Hello, Sug." Says Sandra. "You're right on time. Dinner is
almost ready. So Come in and
Pestilence: Get naked.
make yourself at home."
Pestilence: Same thing.
Elisa nodded and walked inside the apartment. She then gasped at how nice it
was.
Mara:: (Elisa) Hey Sandy, I thought you lived in a shit hole!
At the back of the room was a window complete with a balcony that let her look
out over
Demona:: The plant was flourishing under the near greenhouse conditions of the
apartment, mainly due to the methane gas and pure heat that emanated from
Sandra.
In the center of the room was couch that was facing a 32 inch TV screen. To the
left of the couch was small hallway that'll lead to the rest of the apartment.
Death: Either this is rent-controlled, or Sandra is on the take. I'm betting
the latter.
Elisa removed her jean jacket and placed it next to Sandra's Red Leather
Jacket.
Aaron: Okay, okay, we understand the significance already. You don't have to
capitalize it to get your point across.
Still astonished by the female cops surroundings.
Death: She was unable to finish her sentences.
"Nice place." Says Elisa.
Death: (As Jack Nicholson) Nice apartment. Lots of space.
"Thanks." Came Sandra's voice form the kitchen. "I decorated it
myself...have yourself a seat on the couch."
Elisa then walked over to the couch and had herself a seat.
Mara:: I’ll have two! Are they good?
She then noticed a small picture sitting on a stand next to the couch. She then
reached over and picked up the picture and looked at it.
Demona:: No, she licked at it. Why would she do something silly like look at
it? (rolls eyes)
It was picture of young Sandra
Demona:: A fucking moronic…. calf?
standing with a raven-haired little boy with dark brown eyes. Elisa then
pondered at the size of the kid he was already half the size that Sandra was.
Pestilence: Sweet Jeebus, the kid must be a junior sumo champion or something.
"Hey, Sandi." Says Elisa as she stares at the picture.
Aaron: They can't even keep the spellings of their own characters straight.
(Sigh)
"Yes, Sug?" says Sandra.
"How old is this kid in the picture?" says Elisa.
Sandra then came out of a kitchen and walked over to Elisa and takes the
picture from her.
Aaron:: (Sandra) You weren’t supposed to see that!
She then stares at the picture with a reminiscent look on her face.
Mara:: Ah… lunch.
Elisa then looks at Sandra with a concerned look on her face. Sandra then snaps
out of her day-dream and looks at Elisa.
"Um, He was seven years old at the time." Says Sandra.
"God, he's huge." Says Elisa as she blinked at the picture.
Mara:: Maza, pervert, pedophile or really nice girl?
Angela:: That’s sick… buying child porn off of Captain Chavez…
"She looked at Sandra. "Ever know what happened to him?"
Death: (As Sandra) Well, living over a toxic waste dump does strange things to
people...
Sandra's smile faded but she quickly regained it. "Um, hey Dinner's ready
so let's clean up eh?"
Demona: Ace detective that she is, Maza never comments on her partner's total,
and ungraceful, refusal to talk about her past.
Elisa blinks at Sandra. "Um, alright." she rose from the couch and
followed Sandra into the kitchen. There sitting on oak table was two plates
complete with candles on the plate was Gulf shrimp, scallops, New Zealand
mussels, Calamari, and Andouille sausage, sautéed in a rich Creole sauce.
Served over seasoned rice pilaf. The meal was accompanied by White wine.
Aaron: Thank you, Emeril.
Elisa's eyes widened at the meal on her plate.
Death: (As Elisa) I'm, um, allergic to shellfish.
"What is it?" says Elisa.
" Seafood Jambalaya."
Mara:: Sandra’s from
Pestilence:: She’s Ja-fakin’.
Says Sandra." It's Hot and spicy
Pestilence: (Plays that Wendy’s commercial) I’m spicy!
so let me know if it's too hot
for you."
Angela:: Some like it hot.
She then took a seat.
"Where did you learn to cook this." Says Elisa.
Angela: (Sandra) Prison.
"Well, when I left Arlene I spent a brief time down in
Mara:: Told ya.
Aaron: I love
I spent most of my time in a soup kitchen in Cajun restaurant.
Angela:: Not volunteering or anything.. just homeless.
Mara:: I was right about that, too.
That's where I learned how to cook most of my food." She smiles at her.
"Enjoy hun."
Death: Hey Maza, she never mentioned
Elisa smiles and then starts to eat the food that Sandra prepared.
Aaron: (As Willie Beamen) That was the worst shit I ever ate in my life. Why
you think I been throwin' up all over the place?
She was right it was hot and spicy. As the two friends continued to eat they
sat there and talked about their lives.
Death: What, again? What can they possibly have to talk about by now?
Aaron: (As Elisa) And then, in seventh grade, I was convinced that now my right
foot was bigger then my left... I'm not boring you am I?
Elisa was little bit more open
Pestilence: Heh heh heh.
about her Family
Mara:: Ah, incest.
and talked to her about Derek, Beth and her parents. But, Sandra was very quiet
about her family when ever the subject when it came up about her Family
Mara:: Do you get the feeling he’s just cut and pasting “her Family”?
Sandra talked lightly about it but a voided
Aaron:: Eeew, at the table? That’s disgusting!
Pestilence:: Never void where prohibited.
the deeper questions by quickly changing the subject. Elisa once again
respected Sandra's privacy and went along with the subject change. But one
question was always on her mind how she was goona
Aaron: One "o" and two "n"'s! One "o" and two
"n"'s! It's not that hard!
tell Sandra how she felt. A few hours later the two ladies were sitting on
their couch enjoying the taste of Seafood Jambalaya in their stomachs.
Mara: I have a separate stomach for cake and ice cream...
They sat there watching
All: Porn.
TV. Elisa couldn't help that Sandra 's eyes weren't exactly on the TV but they
were on her.
Mara:: (Sandra) You look good enough to eat, Sug. With some fava beans and a
nice Chianti.
Demona:: This is Sandra, so I think you mean pork and beans and a nice forty of
MadDog.
Mara:: There is nothing nice about a forty of MadDog.
Demona:: Hey! Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it.
She immediately felt her face flush hot
Aaron:: The poison was working!
as Sandra gazed at her taking in every inch of her body.
Mara:: (Sandra) I’ll pickle her feet… make some roast beef with her legs… could
get some steaks out of her… use the fingers for jerky… use her fat to tenderize
her shoulders and… mmmmmm puree the rest.
Elisa wondered if Sandra was feeling the same way about her too.
Death:: Heh, guess again.
She finally decided to ask her she then turned to Face her and saw the fire
burning in her eyes.
Pestilence: Fire! Fire! Heheheheheheheh.
Aaron: That was some spicy food. It set Sandra's brain on fire.
Demona: What brain? Fucking moronic cow.
Pestilence: Are you threatening
me?
Sandra looked so beautiful to Elisa that way
Mara:: -on fire-
she wanted so badly to kiss her right then and there. But, Sandra took the
initiative and leaned in and
Death:: Went for the butcher knife she had hidden in the couch.
kissed her full on the lips very slowly.
Mara:: (Sandra) Puree…….
Elisa enjoyed the kiss for a few seconds before breaking away. Her eye wide
with surprise.
Death:: While kissing her, Sandra slipped the knife into her side.
"Sa…Sandi…." Says Elisa. "You just kissed me."
Demona: Ugh, even I feel sorry for Maza there… a little bit.
Sandra pouted a bit." I'm sorry, hun. But, you see there's something you
should know about me. The way that I live." Says Sandra.
Mara:: (Sandra) By consuming others.
Aaron:: (Elisa) You’re a cannibal?
Mara:: (Sandra) Cannibal is such an ugly word, I prefer the term ‘flesh
appropriator’.
"What is it?" says Elisa as she tried to calm her beating heart.
Aaron: A fistful of Valium should do the trick...
" You see. I'm
Pestilence: A transsexual. I used to be a body-builder until the steroids gave
me cancer of the balls, and so I decided just to go for it and live as a woman.
That's why I'm so freakishly huge.
gay Sug." says she then took a deep breath. "I have been that way for
sometime now. " says Sandra.
Pestilence: I like my explanation better.
"I see." Says Elisa as she got closer to her." So you like only
women is that it?"
Pestilence: Noooo, I'm a really ugly drag queen. Haven't you been listening?
Aaron: Not every guy who dresses in drag is gay, you know.
Pestilence: Then why didn't she say she was a lesbian?
Aaron: Point.
"Yes." Says Sandra. She then sighs. "But, I'm sorry for kissing
you Sug I shouldn't have." She starts to tear it up.
All: Huh?
Angela:: Tear it up! Tear it up!
"But you know how hard it is to be around a woman like you without being
able to touch you to hold you."
Death: Um, no.
I
Angela:: Hey, author, we told you to stay out of it!
she
Angela:: Don’t let me see you do that again.
turns away for m her as tears stream down her face. "I love everything
about you Elisa you're smile the smell of your skin
Demona:: Like rotten fish?
the way you move.
Demona:: Like a herd of elephants.
I love you Elisa...ever since I first saw you I had a crush on you.
Aaron: Whereas now, she's just going to crush her.
But, now that we are this close how could I not let my feelings show."
Demona:: You could try an antiperspirant spray.
Elisa thinks for a second. "She loves me!
Pestilence: (shows Sally Field’s infamous Oscar acceptance speech on his
viewscreen) She likes me! She really, really likes me!
This is great now I can tell her how I feel." She then grabbed Sandra's
chin
Death: Which one?
and turned it towards her.
Demona:: Sandra, being incredibly fat, stayed completely still while her chin
took on a forty-five degree angle.
"Sandra…I love you too Sandi…I always have and will."
Demona: Liar! LIAR!
She leans in and kisses slowly.
"Mmmm…"
Mara:: (Sandra) Puree…..
mummers
Aaron: Are people who participate in some kind of cross between Halloween
and New Year’s, apparently.
Sandra into Elisa's mouth.
Aaron: I just had a flashback to Lina and that fish guy...
Sandra then breaks the kiss and kisses Elisa back slowly as she run her hands
through Elisa's Raven
Pestilence: Nevermore!
colored tresses.
Aaron: Somebody OD'd on romance novels.
After they break the kiss Sandra rests her brow against Elisa's while breathing
hard.
Aaron:: (Elisa) Your mouthwash ain’t makin’ it.
Mara:: You know, Sandra, a little exercise and maybe kissing wouldn’t wind you
so bad. Oh, who am I kidding…
"Sug…"says Sandra.
"Yes, hun…" says Elisa her breathing as ragged as Sandra's.
"I want you Elisa…more than anything…
Pestilence:: More than donuts?
I want to make love to you." Says Sandra.
"I want you too...Sandra." says Elisa.
Angela:: (Elisa) But I don’t know if that’s physically possible.
Sandra kisses her back slowly while he fondles her breasts through the T-shirt
for a few minuents." Come on back to my bedroom hun."
Death:: Step into my parlor said the spider to the fly.
"Lead the way." says Elisa.
Sandra smiled and took Elisa's hand and led her to the bedroom. As soon as both
of them entered They started to kiss each other again. They broke their kiss
and licked their lips the kissed each other again with there tongues dueling
with each other.
Death: Tongues at ten paces.
When they both broke the kiss eyes of chocolate
Demona:: I’m gonna need a heat lamp.
Aaron:: I’m gonna need a barf bag.
stared to eyes of ocean blue. Sandra reached down and grabbed Elisa's shirt
Mara:: (Sandra) MINE!
Aaron:: I know what you’re thinking and it will never ever fit!
and slowly pulled it up revealing her muscular stomach. Elisa lifted up her
arms so Sandra could take the rest of the shirt off.
Pestilence: Put your hands up. Now assume the position while I handcuff you...
Sandra then stared at Elisa's Black satin bra that held back her 45 C-cup
breasts.
Mara: Maza must have lost a lot of weight between now and the series.
Pestilence: Y'know, Maza looks kinda like Misato from Evangelion... Except
where it counts... Mmmm, E-cups.
Sandra was about to reach for the young officer's bra when she removed it with
a flick of the writs.
Demona:: A flick of the writs? Is that some sort of literary jargon?
Mara:: No, you’re thinking a fit of the wits. Invisi doesn’t have those.
Demona:: Ah….
Sandra just licked her lips as the sight of Elisa's breasts.
Mara:: (Sandra) And those I’ll use for dumplings!
" They look beautiful Sug. I'm a lucky Gal."
Death:: While we are all profoundly unlucky for having to read this.
"Would you like to touch them?" says Elisa.
Aaron: No, she just took your shirt off for the Hell of it.
Sandra nodded and walked forward
Angela:: Eh?
and cupped Elisa breasts and massaged them slowly. Elisa moaned at Sandra's
touch and immediately arched her back to force more of her breasts into
Sandra's eager hands. Sandra smiled as she continued to the administrations on
the twin orbs of flesh.
Pestilence: Ah, my dream job, breast administrator... Firm E-cups for
everybody.
She then smiled and took one nipple into her mouth and the slowly started to
suck on her the rock hard chocolate nipple's.
Pestilence: She has more then one per tit? Freaky.
Aaron: It's like some really weird furry porno.
She teased the nipple
Mara:: Nyah, nyah, you’re weird looking!
with her tongue flicking it back and forth sometimes teasingly nipping at it
before taking it in her mouth again. Elisa's knees immediately got week
Demona:: This is the longest porn scene ever.
when Sandra did this. Elisa then felt Sandra's hand on the small of her back as
she lead her over to the bed and laid her down.
Angela:: As I lay me down to sleep.. I pray the Lord
Death:: …this fic to take, down into fiery judgment.
Sandra then move over her and continued to suck her nipple's while one of her
free hands roamed down to the button of her jeans and starts to undo them..
Pestilence:: Ah, Elisa wears unbutton my fly jeans.
Sandra stopped suckling on Elisa's breasts, came up to her and started to kiss
her again fully on the mouth
Demona: Maza's about to be crushed to death.
Pestilence: And what a way to go. Flattened by Fat Bastard's kid sister. Ugh.
Elisa moaned into the other woman's mouth as she felt her fingers twirks
All: (Blink)
and pull at her nipples.
Demona:: Ah, yes. Pull. Hard.
Mara:: Is it me, or has this whole scene been wholly about nipples? There are
more sensitive and better places to be touching. Like… the rest of Elisa’s
“45c” breasts.
Sandra then smiled down at Elisa her brunette hair framing her face. Elisa then
sat up a bit and kissed Sandra once more. Sandra then kissed her back and then
kissed the hollow of her neck and continued to kiss all the way down her body
down to her jeans. Sandra unbuttoned them and pulled their jeans off revealing
a pair of very wet Black satin panties.
Death: Maza must have wet herself with fright.
Mara:: Only sluts wear black satin panties.
Angela:: And what do good girls wear?
Mara and Pestilence:: Nothing.
Sandra then licked he lips at the sight she then moved out and grabbed the
material with her teeth and pulled them all the way down and off.
Aaron: And once again, the difference between porn and real life...
Sandra then grabbed Elisa's leg's and slowly nudged them apart. She then smiled
at her and looked at Elias an over the forest of black curls.
Pestilence: It’s called a razor Maza. Look into it.
"Don't worry Sug. Sandi is goon a make you feel good." Says Sandra.
Demona: He’s misspelled goona. How in the blimey fucking hell do you misspell
your own spelling errors?
"I hope you do love." Says Elisa.
Sandra smiled and slowly kissed her way up Elisa's legs and all over the young
officer's thighs. Elisa moaned in ecstasy as she did this as she watched the
Sexy brunette slowly wake her
Death: (As Hyena) Hey Maza! Don't pass out on me now, we're just gettin'
started!
way up to her inner thighs kissing all the way. Elisa had never felt pleasure like
this and all of this coming form a woman. She tried not to moan too loudly so
she wouldn't let the next-door neighbors hear her screams of passion.
Mara:: Cruddy paper-thin walls.
Finally Sandra has made her way to Elisa's nether lips she licked her younger
Aaron:: Eewww… Beth?
and then slowly licked up and down her slit teasingly. Elisa's moans steadily
got louder as Sandra keeps t on licking
Pestilence:: It takes a licking and keeps on… uh… nevermind.
enjoying that taste of her love juices on her tongue. Sandra kept on licking
enjoying watching t Elisa squirms and moans
Mara:: Hey, don’t take this out on the poor innocent neighbors.
and Sandra wasn't even trying yet.
Demona:: Come on, cow, get your back into it. I’m sure with enough effort
you’ll kill that Maza dead.
It didn't take long for Sandra to find the small bud of her clitoris pulsating
and oozing with
Demona:: Pus.
Elisa's juices. Sandra then slowly slid up and started to suckle on the small
tit of flesh.
"Oh, Fuck!" yells Elisa as she felt Elisa
Angela:: I guess Sandra just wasn’t doing a good enough job.
felt electrical jolts course through her body.
Aaron:: Sandra Cantiago- policewoman, lover, homicidal stun-gun enthusiast...
Mara (singing) : I got chills, they’re multiplying, and I’m losing contro-ol!
Death : …of my gag-reflex…
She moaned and squirmed on bed as
tried to separately to hump Sandra's face.
Mara:: Uh oh, Maza’s dislodged her hips again.
Sandra just chuckle's and decides to insert a finger into Elisa's hot pussy.
Elisa squealed,
Demona:: (Elisa) Cagney, NO!
grabbed Sandra by the head and pushed her more deeper into pelvis.
Angela:: Ow…
Aaron: This whole
rebirthing fetish is just gross.
Sandra was surprised and aroused at the same time by Elisa's boldness but he
Pestilence: I knew I was right.
gladly obliged to Elisa's needs and started to eat out her with passion
torturing
Demona:: Fire? Ice? Electrical shock?
her clitoris as her finger start to pound in and out of her strong strokes.
Demona:: Breaking her ‘slender’ fingers.
Sandra then looked at Elisa with Lust Filled eyes. "You want to cum don't
you little whore?
Angela:: How romantic.
I make you feel good don't I?"
All:: No.
says Sandra as she continued to finger her. "Yeah, your Sandra's little
slut now aren't' you?"
Elisa moans loudly completely oblivious to Sandra's tone but she liked the way
that Sandra was talking to her.
Aaron: I'm trying my best to reconcile that sentence, but it's not happening.
She could hardly respond to Sandra's questions her throat was as tight as a
shop voice.
Death: (As Captain Peacock) Third floor: Pots, pans, hardware and typo-ridden
lesbian scenes.
Mara: I said no more Britcoms! That means you too!
This has been the best Elisa has ever felt in a long time.
Mara:: Depression is a horrible thing.
"Come on say is Sug." Says Sandra." Say, you're my little slut!
Say that you're my whore!"
Angela:: Eva Adore?
says Sandra before diving between her legs.
All:: Splash.
"Oh! Sandra! Says Elisa as she moaned." Oh…God uck
Angela:: (Elisa) That’s disgusting!
Yes!
Aaron: See, Maza thinks so too.
I am your Little slut I am your whore please mane me
Mara:: (Sandra) I’ll need an enormous hair brush and some Vitalis.
cum! It want to cum so bad."
Mara:: We all float down here.
"Then feed me you harlot! Let me taste your juices." says Sandra
before continued her administrations.
Aaron: I'd think it was spell check causing that mistake, except I know there's
no spell-checking being done.
"Oh, God I'm there…'m
Mara:: Hey, who’s one of the actors who voiced Castaway?
Cuuuuummmmming!"
All:: (golf clap)
Mara:: But TGC didn’t happen…
screams Elisa as she explodes
Death: In a burst of flame, taking Sandra with her. The end.
orgasm.
Pestilence: Not while reading this.
Sandra happily lapped up Elisa juices all the while smiling.
Demona:: Missing most of Maza’s (disgusted tone) juices…
She then came up to the exhausted Elisa and kissed her with all the over she
has for her.
All:: …
Elisa moaned and kissed her back tasting herself on her mouth.
"You taste good hun." Says Sandra as she licked the cum juices of her
fingers.
"I know." says Elisa.
Angela:: Modest too.
"Wow, that was great."
Mara:: Here’s your two dollars, now get the hell out.
Sandra smiles." You want to me make me feel good."
All: No.
"Sure." Says Elisa with a wink.
Mara:: Showing that she was being sarcastic.
"Well, then come and get me then." says Sandra.
Elisa setup
Demona:: (Elisa) Okay, we’re gonna have to put the mike here… the drums go over
there.. Hey you! Be careful with that synthesizer, it’s more important than you
are, bloody twit…
Mara:: Cute.
and kissed Sandra back enjoying the taste of herself on her lover's lips again.
She then increased the kiss and ran her hands through the other woman's
brunette locks.
All:: Not the hair! Not the hair!
She increased the kiss as her hand went to the front of
Angela:: Where?
there
Angela:: Oh.
her shirt and she started to unbutton it. Sandra just moaned in delight as
Elisa did this enjoying the feeling of her lips against hers. Elisa then moved
down her neck and started to nibble on the flesh. Sandra gasped as she felt
Elisa kiss her neck while undoing the last button. Sandra then let her white
dress shirt fall to the floor. Elisa gasped as she noticed when Sandra wasn't
wearing bra
Mara:: (sings) I’m free as a bird now… and this bird you cannot change…
and it gave her easy access to her hardened nipples. Elisa smiled and started to
slowly suck on them . Sandra let out a slight gasp as she feels as Elisa starts
to lick and suck on her hardened nipples and immediately feels himself get
weak.
Death:: Elisa still hasn’t noticed Sandra is a man by this point?
Elisa senses It
Angela:: Well, the rolls of fat makes her.. um.. his.. whatever… that thing
undetectable by sight.
Pestilence: Speaking from
experience there?
also and lowers her to the bed where she continues to suckle on her breasts.
She odes
Mara:: I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree?
this for a few more minuents before starting a trial
All: Guilty!
of kisses down her stomach and even kissing her belly button which made the
other woman giggle. She then stopped at the loose fitting jeans and quickly
started to unbuckle them.
Mara:: That must be a huge belt.
Pestilence:: Yeah, bigger than Broadway’s.
Elisa helped Sandra to wiggle out of her jeans and just smiled at the sight
before her as Sandra lay before her wearing nothing but pair of red lace
panties.
Mara:: Once again, shoddy taste.
"Cute." Remarks Elisa. "But, I don't think you'll be needing
these anymore."
Demona:: (Elisa) Mwahahaha.
Says Elisa as she removed the other woman's panties She then licked her lips at
the sight of the hairless pussy before her. "Yum."
Pestilence:: (Elisa) I always like a good hermaphrodite after dinner.
Elisa then slowly nudged the other woman's legs apart and started to kiss up
her thigh's slowly. Sandra then lets out a contended sigh
Angela:: I coulda had class! I coulda been a contender!
as she continues to this administration.
Pestilence:: When will this administration bring the Hamburglar to justice?!?
Elisa smiles as she reaches the juncture
Mara:: (Elisa) To the train depot and step on it! I want out of this fic.
between Sandra's leg and stares at the pink puffy lips
Aaron:: Isn’t that what P. Diddy is calling himself now?
which was already wet with Sandra's juices.
Mara:: Who came up with the idea that ‘puffy’ had positive word associations
with lemon fics anyway?
Elisa then gave Sandra's pussy a welcoming kiss and a ice-cream lick.
Demona:: (Barty Crouch Jr.) Ice cream’s, like, yaye.
Sandra moaned as bit Elisa continued to lick at her pussy lips teasing them
with her tongue.
"Oh Elisa." moans Sandra softly. "Please, Sug don't tease me
like this please eat me out. I want you to taste me hun."
Elisa gladly obliged and slowly inserted her tongue in Sandra's hot snatch.
Demona:: Brad Pitt gives his sympathies, unfortunately he’s rather
unintelligible in that movie.
Sandra nearly squealed
Aaron: Like a pig?
as she felt Elisa tongue enter and she clutched the younger woman's face to her
pussy. Elisa immediately got the idea
Mara:: (Elisa) If I kill her the fic will end!
and starting to eat her out. She enjoyed hearing Sandra's moans of pleasure as
her tongue darted in and out of her love
Demona:: Canal. And just as toxic.
hole
Mara: What is Courtney Love up to these days anyway?
still teasing her a bit while she searched for her clit. Sandra knew that this
Elisa wouldn't be able to find her clitoris
Angela:: Being a hermaphrodite and all…
but loved the way she was trying. But, unfortunate was proved wrong when
Elisa's tongue pressed against it.
"Oh, Fuck!" yells Sandra.
Elisa smiled as she found what she was looking for she
All:: (sing) But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for…
Death:: An end to this horrible scene.
immediately started to go work torturing and teasing Sandra's clitoris using
all the administrations that Sandra did to her.
Mara:: God knows that you can’t do anything different. You know, lesbian sex is
so boring and repetitive.
Demona:: In bad pron, yes; in this fic… dear merciless Dragon I hate this fic….
Angela:: Can we stop now? And come back to it never?
Mara:: We can’t take another break so soon, we just had one (she pauses to check) forty-eight pages
ago?!? Shit!
Demona:: Then I vote we call in reinforcements. I’m the only immortal here; if
the rest of you don’t make it, I’ll be stuck misting the rest all by myself.
(shudders)
Death:: You think if we spread the suffering around more, the greater the
chances that will be for us to survive this?
*significant pause*
Aaron: Lynati might. She's always willing to help.
Aaron: I do.
Aaron:: (waves
*