Aaron
[jcarnage@yahoo.com] (with Mara and
Lynati)
From the “Misleading Name” Saga,
we give you “The FunMist” (part 1)
We open in the MiSTing room of
the bachelor bad;
Aaron: Ah, shit!
Pestilence: So, that makes
it…
Aaron: Fuck you,
bitch. You have to sleep eventually. I can always even things up
then.
Pestilence: (Under his
breath) I wouldn’t bet on it.
(There is another short interlude
of silence while another round is played… with similar results)
Aaron: You are such a
cheese artist. Explain to me again how the Golden Gun, which fires golden
bullets, is an instant kill… Gold is a notoriously soft metal, yet it
blows right through the body armor, which, meanwhile, will stop a shot from the
frikkin’ Moonraker Laser…
Aaron: Sure.
(Another round is played.
And another. Aaron continues to get beaten like a drum)
Aaron: Y’know, I have this
weird feeling we were supposed to be doing something…
Pestilence: You’re just
trying to get out of another ass-kicking.
Aaron: Eat me. You
know, this game really needs a randomize weapons setting.
(Another three rounds go
by. Aaron continues… well, you get the idea)
Pestilence: So, you
regretted basing me on your brother yet?
Aaron: Your original
concept was only very loosely based on Alex… Oh shit!
Pestilence: What?
Aaron: Speaking of very
loose original concepts, we were supposed to start getting ready for today’s
MiST like, five hours ago.
Pestilence: Another
one? Don’t be a sore loser just because I 0wnz00rd j00.
Aaron: Oh, this isn’t
because of that. Well, your inclusion is, but it’s mostly a lesson in why
you should give your beta readers time to do their jobs, and not get snarky
about how much editing you need.
Pestilence: ‘Nother IX
fic? You bastard.
Aaron: What can I say; I
was more than a little cheesed to see hours of working on this fic go to waste.
Aaron: ‘Course not. He just found
out that I agreed to let Lyn write him after he dies, and has refused to leave
his room ever since.
Aaron’s response is cut off by a
knock at the front door; it opens without preamble to reveal Angela, dressed
in…well, think Cyndi Lauper on crack. The skirt is layered, poofy, and in
several shades of red; her white tube-top is emblazoned with a cracking
‘She-Ra, princess of power” logo. Both wrists are sheathed in a large number of
silver and rainbow-plastic bangles, and at least three cans of high-hold
hairspray have gone into her hairstyle, which can only be described as
“elaborate”. A surprisingly small and tasteful amount of glitter-makeup
decorates her face.
The boys’ first reaction is to
stare; Aaron manages to suppress what has to be the typical secondary reaction
to the sight, so it is only Pestilence who gets a beat down from Angela after
dissolving into hysterical laughter. Not until
Angela: I’ve been waiting half
the night for this MiST to start; don’t tell me you forgot we were doing it.
Aaron: Of course I didn’t. I
had…other things to do. Very important things.
Angela continues to stare at him,
arms crossed, obviously not buying it.
Aaron: Sooo…why don’t you go get
Mara and Demmie, and I’ll finish setting up.
Pestilence: And if he refuses?
Aaron: Tell him Lyn’s started
re-reading Fleur Rhine’s work, and ask if the phrase “Battle Bikini” holds any
meaning for him. And if not, if he’d like it to.
Pestilence: And if he *still*
refuses?
Aaron: That’s your problem. Bear
in mind Lynati *also* has an unfinished image of you dressed up as Amelia from
“Slayers” around somewhere, that if someone were to remind her of she might sit
down and complete…
Looking slightly more green than
usual,
Grumbling, the beaked clone
enters and flops on the couch next to Demona, pretty much ignoring the rest of
the room. He comes to realize that everyone else in the room is staring at him-
him and Demona, anyway. Both gargoyles happen to be wearing shirts that are
recent Christmas gifts from others in the group; Death’s reads: “I'm not
anti-social, I'm just not real friendly"; he is wearing it untucked over a
pair of black jeans.
Demona, by comparison, sports a
pair of Joan Jett-esque black leather pants, and a spiked dog collar; her shirt
bears the legend "I’m not anti-social, I'm- Actually, I am anti-social"
Mara: Hee!
Pestilence: You two look like a
matched set of delinquent bodyguards.
Death sulks more; Demona ignores
the jibe and addresses the gargoyle avatars.
Demona: Well, here we all are. How are we starting this one?
Aaron: Two years ago, six
gargoyles, (Well, four full-time gargs, and two self-insertion authors) set out
to-
Pestilence: You’ve already used
that intro. Remember, the Valentine’s day MiST?
Aaron: … Oh. Right.
(Aaron fumbles in his pocket for a minute, finally extracting a piece of
dog-eared paper, which he unfolds and beings to read.)
This MiST is in part a tribute to
ReBoot Season four, a sign that shows that were too good to air on ABC have the
ability to rise again. Perhaps, through
luck and talent and Canadian programming, Gargoyles may, too, make its way back
to new episodes. So, in honor of Mainframe Entertainment…
(He pauses a moment to secure an
IP icon onto his shirt, flipping one to everyone else in the room and motioning
for them to do the same. He waits for them to pin theirs in place before
continuing.)
We live on the Net. Through
comments rooms, chats, forums and Livejournals we have tracked our way to this
place, The GFA. Our format: Sentinel. To rend and defend. To defend the good authors and decent works
posted within. To rip to bits the slag of the archive, that the quality level
may rise again.
They say these users live outside
the realm of taste and inflict their writing on us for pleasure, and that
MiSTing them into sobriety is the only recourse we have. Does it help?
No one knows for sure, but we
intend to do it anyway.
REBOOT!
The lights slowly flicker back
on, to reveal that the entire set- with the exclusion of the couches- has
changed. The set now appears to be the war-room in the Principal Office, a la
season three.
Hexa-demona,
a sullen expression on her newly created mask, looks down at her new attire,
the black leather pants seem to have transformed into tall black leather boots,
and a well shined bustier. “Oh, this is great!” She says, her voice rising
happily though her mask still conveys annoyance.
Mara,
now a sparkly aqua version of AndraIA, helpfully reaches a hand over
Hexa-Demona’s face, Demmie breaking out into a rather wide smile.
Mara::
Happy. (handswipes) Sad. (handswipes)
Demona
looks irritable. “Stop playing with my face.” She then pushes Mara away and
practices the handswiping motion herself.
“Happy.” She handswipes again. “Sad”. Handswipes, and a new bemused
expression registers. “Intrigued! I’ve never been so in touch with my
emotions!”
Angela,
her previous Cyndi Lauper look melding into a rather pleasant version of Dot
Matrix circa the 1980s and the destruction of Lost Angles, rolls her eyes. “As
fun as that is to watch, we need to get this started.” She gestures to a
schedule that she couldn’t have been holding before.
“I love
it when the casting fits.” Mara grins. “Right, Lover?” She leans up against
Aaron, who has rebooted into Matrix- the game grown version of Enzo Matrix.
He
looks down, and smirks appreciatively “Hey, I’m tall.” He then notices he’s
packing…
“Gun.
Paintball mode.” He commands, then looks around the room, his golden eye moving
independently as it scans for a certain cheese-abusing clone. “
“Innocent
clone brutally assaulted by abusive author, film at eleven!”
From
around the side of the couch steps a yellow-green TV set with arms, legs, and
Pestilence’s face, square in the middle of the screen.
Pestilence: You (bleep)-ing (bleep)-hole. As soon as I disable this V-chip I’ll kick
your (bleep)!
Aaron: Don’t think so
An
elaborate red targeting symbol appears on
Pestilence
(glancing around) : Death? Where’d he
go?
The
others look around. It’s rather hard to miss six feet of gargoyle, even six
feet of recently-reshaped gargoyle, but Death no longer seems to be present in
the room. A quick search reveals… nothing.
Aaron:
Well, shit.
Pestilence:
(Spotting something sticking out from under the couch) Death? Is that…you?
He
pokes at the form, which hisses at him before sinking its fangs into his
finger. It bounces away to land on Hexa-Demona’s lap, where it remains, fur
bristled. Closer inspection reveals it to have a beak, horns, and glowing black
eyes.
Aaron:
You…he…Death rebooted as Scuzzy?!?
Demona: (Scritching Scuzzy-Death behind the horns,
still smiling widely) I like it.
Others: …
Aaron: And on that note, let’s get this over with.
*
FunMist (Group run through
Eight Race Saga Season Two : Prolouge: "Friend's, Partner's, Lover's Pt1:
Elisa's Tale"
by Invsi Xavier
Death: They misspelled prologue... We're in for new levels of pain, aren't we?
Friends, Partners, Lovers: Elisa's Tale.
Pestilence: That should be Tail.
By Invsi Xavier
Untitled
By Invsi Xavier. (tjarred@hotmail.com)
Death: And the "Didn't read it before I posted it" award goes to...
Invisi Xavier, for an unprecedented third year running!
Comments welcome
Aaron: You'd think they'd quit saying that.
Author's Note: the characters depicted herein are mostly the property of the
Folks at Disney, and are used here without their authorization.
Angela:: In cases like these, I’m glad Disney doesn’t give authorization.
Mita Reindheart and Sandra Cantiago
Aaron: Carmen Sandiego?
Death: No, people chase her.
are the property of my beau
Mara: Uh, isn’t “beau” masculine?
Angel of the night.
All other characters are the
property of me.
Mara: Riiiight. We all know I own all y’all here… ::hmmphs:: I’m in a huff.
note: this story contains profanity and Sexual Content. The songs It's so hard
to say goodbye to Yesterday
All: Good-bye Yesterday!
and Four Seasons is by Boyz 2 Men,
Well this is my entry to the KGPC contest. The reason is writing this fic is to
stretch my NC-17 writing muscles and have some fun doing it.
Death: Would those be the muscles in his right arm?
Aaron: It would explain all the typos.
Pestilence: You two'd be the experts on that. (Gets paintballed by Aaron’s
now-floating gun)
Oh, yeah this fic will be used as part of he Eight Race Story line and is
taking place a few weeks before New Beginnings.
Demona:: There is nothing sadder than a porn fic with greater aspirations
toward storyline.
Aaron:: What about a porn fic retcon?
Demona: There is no end to the sadness that is Invisi Xavier.
September 11th
Aaron: Boy, some things look really weird in retrospect, don't they?
9:30p.m
Goliath paced around upon the parapets of Castle Wyvern with a worried look on
his face.
Aaron: But what else is new?
Mainly his concern was on the disappearance of his lover Elisa.
Demona: Why is everyone staring at me?
She has not shown up at the castle for the last three days and he was worried
sick. She has never been away from him for this long.
Mara:: Can we say ‘co-dependent’? I knew you would.
He has glided from the castle to her apartment as even to chance of seeing a
glimpse of her.
Pestilence: In the shower.
Aaron: Even Goliath's a voyeur in this universe.
but to no avail.
Death: Having learned his lesson the first time, Jason had Elisa draw the
curtains.
He has even asked Xanatos if his raven-haired lover has shown up today
Aaron: (As Xanatos) Shhhhh, Fox isn't supposed to know about him!
but even he doesn't know. This recent turn of events has made the lavender
giant even more nervous. Probably he scared off from the proposal hat he has
given to her a few weeks ago?
Death: Ignoring the grammatical nightmare that is the rest of the sentence,
what the Hell is a proposal hat?
Aaron: It's a type of hat worn by single women to weddings, with the hope of
attracting some of the single men. I'd be scared if I saw Goliath wearing one
too.
Death: (Blinks) You just made that up, didn't you?
Aaron: ^_^ Sore wa himetsu desu.
Death: Don't do that!
No that can't be it Elisa loves him why would she run from him?
Demona: Oh, where to start?
Not having his answer to his love's whereabouts where
Mara: Where?
Angela:: (points) Over there.
driving him mad. He was about to continue his thoughts until herd the sound of
footsteps on the stone floor.
All: Moo. Moo.
Goliath looked behind him and saw his future mother-in-law Diane Maza walking
up to him. The lavender giant caped his wings and walked over to her and smiled
slightly.
"Good, evening Diane." says Goliath.
Aaron: Give my tape recorder back, you big purple bastard!
Diane smiled. "Please…call me mom."
Aaron: I'd pay good money to hear Goliath say mom. Along with munchies and
“big-ass ham”.
She smiles. "So how are you doing tonight?"
Goliath frowned." I am worried about my Elisa. I have been trying to come
into
Pestilence: Sexual
contact with her for the last few days. Do you happen to no
Angela:: That’s right. No.
the whereabouts of her."
Diane's smile slowly disappeared.
Death: (As Diane) And what exactly have you and my daughter been up to, hmmm?
"Well, for most of the time she has been with me we have already started
to plan for the wedding.
Pestilence: Run, Goliath, run! On second thought, you deserve it. Stay,
Goliath, stay.
But, for the most part she has been visiting someone special to her."
Goliath arched a browridge. "Someone special?" Goliath searched his
mind. The only people that Elisa considered special to her was her own Family
and the Donovans.
Mara:: Because it’s part of the Retcon.
"But, he has spoken to May also and none of them has seen her either. Who
else could they be in her life.
Aaron: Oh, Tony... Glasses... Pal Joey...
Pestilence: Matt... The Xanatoses...
Death: Owen... Captain Chavez... Vinnie...
Mara: The Pack... Demmie...
Demona: Officer Mor- Hey! (Whaps Mara a good one)
Mara:: Ow!
Diane sensed that Goliath was at a loss for words
Demona: My God, how often does that happen?!?
and stated to speak once more. "Well, Goliath…Elisa was in love with
someone once before." she lowered her head. "Somebody really special
to her."
Mara: ^_^ I always thought so...
"Well who is it that is so special to my Elisa that she hasn't introduce
her to me?" says Goliath.
Aaron: Um, Goliath said *her*. Does he know something about Elisa we don't?
Mara: I always suspected *that* too.
It was Diane's turn to be silent she wanted to tell Goliath where Elisa..
really was. But, should she really?
Aaron: If you tell him, you’ll let the bad fic out! Tell him nothing!
Every has there own regrets that they don't want to tell to anybody…not even
too there life mates.
Demona: I still maintain that nothing happened with
Others: (General noises of disbelief)
As she was considering this she felt Goliath rest a strong taloned hand on her
shoulder.
"Diane...tell
Diane then looked up at Goliath and into his onyx colored eyes and the concern
that they held within.
Aaron: Unable to help herself, Diane sprang upon him, and began tearing his
loincloth off.
Demona: Well, that’s a pairing I don’t think anybody’s done before.
Pestilence: And for good reason. I
mean, ewwww. (Plays a video clip of the
projectile-vomiting scene from The Exorcist)
She actually felt sorry about holding the whereabouts of her daughter, she then
let out heavy sigh and looked away once more. "She's at the
cemetery."
"At the cemetery." says Goliath. "What for? Says Goliath.
Death: Voodoo ritual.
"Like I said she's visiting friend…
Pestilence: Named Spike.
I see…"he then flares his wings. "Then I shall go and see her."
"Goliath…wait." Says Diane.
"Yes?" says Goliath as he looked over at her.
"There's something you should know first…"says Diane.
Aaron: (As Diane) Elisa's a necrophiliac.
"Well then..."says Goliath as he capes his wings and walks over to
her. "Tell me."
Aaron: (As Diane) I just did!
---
Cemetery
9:30p.m
Angela: Um, I thought cemeteries were closed at night?
Elisa Maza walked over throughout the rows of tombstones that covered the large
cemetery..
Death: I hate cemeteries.
in her hands was a small bouquet of flowers in hand.
Aaron: (Just shakes his head and sighs)
She notice that there was no one else here at the cemetery at this point and
time…so she should be grateful.
Pestilence: (As Elisa) Dum-da-dum. Here I am... Walking through the cemetery by
myself... Sure hope nothing jumps out and attacks me...
Death: Have you been watching Buffy again?
That and for the kindly security guard that let her in.
Aaron: Never trust a kindly cemetery employee. They always turn out to be
psychos. The Tall Man’ll probably show up any minute now.
Demona: I love those killer Christmas ornament things he has. If we ever get
out of here, I should have R&D build me some for the mansion.
She proceeded to walk until she came upon a lone grave at the top of her hill.
Mara:
-That she owned.
She noticed that the grave that
wasn't taking care of ver well.
Death: All that freshly disturbed earth... like something had crawled up from
underground...
She then set the flowers to the side and kneeled down. She then brushed the
moss and dust away from the head stone and stared at the inscription.
Sandra Loraine Cantiago
She was loved by all.
Pestilence: She was a slut.
Aaron: That had to be a crappy birthday.
Death: You mean dying on your birthday, or being born on Valentine's Day, so
you could spend two holidays alone for the price of one?
Aaron: (Thinks for a minute) Yes.
She looked upon the grave and felt her heart breaking.
Mara:: (Sings) And since I’m only dead to you, I’m saying stay awaaay, and let
me rest in peace…
Demona:: Well, at least your Buffy CD is going to some good use.
Mara:: I’m just waiting to use the bunny song.
She actually found it hared and harder to come up here after she and Goliath
became mates.
Mara:: I bet… the walk must be pure pain after dislocating your hips like that…
Usually it wasn't that hard for her to come here and to visit her former
lover's grave. But,
Pestilence: Hey Elisa, how's your pussy?
it has been getting a little bit tougher since she has been sleeping with Fox,
Aaron: Doing it with anybody else, Maza?
and Celine..
Aaron. Uh-huh.
Death: I guess the more you fuck, the less time you have for remembrance.
Pestilence: Yep. Which is why you're always so gloomy.
Death: (Doesn't even bother trying to bite him) Sigh.
To be around with tm
Aaron: As opposed to ©.
Death: Fun with the insert
character command. Every time we do one of these, we hit a new low.
especially with Fox reminds her of how much she did miss her. She then runs her
hands through her raven
Pestilence: Nevermore!
locks and lets her mind wander to her former lover…
Pestilence: C'mon Elisa, lean back against the tombstone and masturbate, you
know you want to.
Everyone else: Ewwwwwww!
"
Aaron::
Mara: (sings) Oh Sandyyyyyyyyyyyy… babyyy… when high-igh-igh-igh school is
done…. Oh
---
Streets of Manhattan
9:30p.m
"Stop in the name of
Angela:: Love! Before you break my heart…
the law!"
Demona:: (Stallone) I am da law!
yells Elisa as she ran down the streets of
The punks then made a sharp turn into one of the alleyways of the
Demona:: (Punk) Ow! My nose!
Elisa and the other officer were in hot pursuit. One of the punks stopped at a
group of trashcans sand kicked it in her direction.
Death: Why do people do that? It takes three times longer to knock the stuff
over then it does for the person chasing you to jump over it.
Aaron: I guess it worked once and then everybody copied it.
Elisa nimbly leaped over the trash can and continues to run after the three
punks.
Death: See?
They turned down a narrow alleyway where a fence blocked off the remainder of
it.
Pestilence: Hey morons, why don't you split up? Two cops can't chase three of
you.
She then watched as a punk with dreadlocks nimbly leapt upon the fence,
Angela:: (Mr. Lucas) Still sitting on the fence are you?
Demona:: (Mr. Humprheys) Better to see what’s growing in both gardens.
Mara:: No more Britcoms for you two. That was creepy.
Demona:: (sulks)
grabbed the top and vaulted himself over it. What even surprised her the
largest of the three punks was able to do it just as easily.
Demona:: Well, if Broadway can glide being that heavy.
Angela:: (Looks particularly mortified) Mother!
But, the third punk was not so lucky before the punk could reach the fence
Elisa and the other officer was upon him and they dragged him off the fence.
"Get off of me!" screams the young man. "I didn't do
nothing!"
Mara: Wow. They didn’t use the word “punk” in that sentence.
Death: Hey, this is
"Oh, yeah tell that to the old woman you tried to rob back there."
Demona:: (punk) No… she tried to rob ME! She beat me with her little handbag…
you gotta protect me from her!
Mara:: … But what would Sophia be doing in
Says Elisa as she gets out her handcuffs. She then turns to the other officer.
"You better hurry after those punks Locksley, I got this one."
Aaron: Good way to get your partner shot, Maza.
Locksley just nodded and scaled the fence to continue the chase after the punks
while Elisa read the young man his rights.
Pestilence: You have the right to the dumbest fucking public defender we can
find for you. You have the right to get sodomized with a plumber's friend. You
have...
Aaron:
Pestilence: The NYPD version of Miranda.
After securing his hands behind his back with the steel handcuffs she led him
back to the patrol car. she opened the door and forced the punk back inside
Death: Doing the watch your head gag, no doubt.
Aaron: (Starts humming Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It")
Mara: Sorry folks, inside joke.
before officer Locksley runs up to her clearly out of breath.
"Sorry...Elisa…couldn’t…get…them…got…clear…away…
Death:: Elisa is partnered with T. J. Hooker, I see.
in a light blue Ford. License plate number ….XY1 4563" says Locksley as he
tries to catch his breath.
Death: Must have been an out of state plate, because
Elisa then grumbles and walks over to the squad car and repeats the rest of the
information to the dispatcher. Meanwhile the other officer slides
Aaron:: Across the hood…
in and closes the door behind him still trying to catch his breath. After
giving all the information to the dispatcher she started up the car and drove
off again.
"Well, at least not all of them have gotten away." Says Locksley.
Elisa just looks at her fellow officer with raised brow." Yeah…not all of
them."
23rd precinct (Captain Chavez office)
6:00p.m
Aaron: …three and a half hours
*before* the previous scene.
Captain Chavez sat in her office arranging a few scraps of paper on her desk as
she tried to get her work for the night organized. She then sat down in her
leather
Pestilence: That pinches, you
know.
chair and admired the picture of
her nine-year old daughter which was recently framed.
Aaron: Chavez framed her own kid? Geez, she'll do anything to get a conviction,
won't she?
Death: Um, Chavez shouldn't even have had that kid yet.
After admiring the picture for a few minuents
Aaron: Gods, they've come up with a new way to misspell minutes.
she turned to the work load on her desk with a sigh. A few minuents later there
came a knock at the door.
Chavez laid her pen down on her desk and leaned back in the chair.
"Enter."
Pestilence: Come out. I mean, come in.
The door opened and Elisa Maza walked in. in her police uniform and her raven
Pestilence: Nevermore!
black hair tucked behind her ears." I heard you wanted to see me?"
All: Naked.
Chavez leaned forward and steeple her fingers. "Yes, but, first I want to
know how you are doing on the recent string of robberies?
Death: (As Maza) Not so good. Those Korean grocers are getting pretty well
armed, and I’ve only been able to hit Mr. Jaffe twice this month.
Do you have any leads on who might be behind this?"
Death: (As Maza) Oh, you meant on *solving* the robberies. Uh… boy do I feel
dumb now. Heh-heh.
Elisa then nods." Yes, Ma'am the guy that we brought in a few minuents ago
is a member of a gang known as The Lost Boys."
All: …….
Mara: Say hello to the night…
Chavez arches a brow at her." The Lost Boys? They were mostly small timers
compared to some of the other gangs in this city.
Aaron: You know, like the Theatre de Vampires… the Circus of the Damned…
When did they start to go become serious?"
Death: When they started turning into the undead.
"It seems about a few weeks ago ma'am." says Elisa. "They have
been become much more organized and more evasive.
Aaron:: They’ve been buffing their DEX scores.
Chavez nods." I know. If it wasn't for you and Locksley this would have
been third time that all the members have gotten away. These Lost Boys are
becoming a serious matter. But, that is what I did not call you in for…take a
seat Maza."
Angela: (As Elisa, brightly) Where should I take it, Captain?
Others: (Collective groan)
Elisa then moved over to the leather seat and sat down. "So, what is all
of this about Captain?"
Pestilence: A contest to see who can write the lamest porn, apparently.
"Well,…"says Chavez. "I'm giving you a new patrol partner
Maza." Says Chavez.
"WHAT?" says Elisa as her eyes almost bulge form her sockets."
Death: Gee, she looks kinda like you now,
Pestilence: (Graphic of Denis Leary doing the fuck-you dance appears on
But, Why Captain? Me and Locksley are getting along just fine. I mean--"
Aaron: (As Elisa) Just because I snapped his head off a couple of times about
nothing...
"That's enough!" says Chavez.
Angela: (Chavez) You know for a buddy cop movie the partners cannot get along!
Get with the program, Maza!
" The reason why I'm giving you a new partner is because Locksley is being
transferred to another precinct.
Death: (As Chavez) We kicked him out for being hetero.
And you're still to fresh to be working alone so I'm teaming you up with
Mara:: A large, stupid dog?
Sandra Cantiago."
Mara:: Same thing!
"Who?" says Elisa as she arches brow.
"I know you two haven't met yet." says Chavez. "But,, since her
partner quit the force
Demona:: (mouths) Committed suicide.
a few weeks ago
Angela: (Sandra’s last partner) I couldn’t stand it anymore, the bitch would
keep peeing in the back seat of my car!
I have been looking for someone to team her up with." she smiles."
and you seem to be the perfect candidate."
Pestilence: Lesbians can always spot each other.
"But, Captain!" says Elisa.
Aaron: (As Elisa) I'm not a lesbian! I swear!
"No, buts Maza." says Chavez. "I advise that you and Sandra try
to get along with each other…or at least meet.
Demona:: I would imagine it would be hard to work as partners with someone
you’ve never met.
She is supposed to get off shift anytime now. If you hurry you could meet each
other."
Elisa just fumed for a moment as she stared at the captain. "Alright, I'll
met her…"
Mara:: (Elisa) But I won’t liked it.
Chavez smile." Good." she then waved a dismissing hand. "You're
dismissed."
Aaron: I see Chavez took the Nightstone Unlimited "All Your Employees Are
Idiots" management course.
Elisa Maza rose from her seat and left the Chavez's office without saying
another word.
---
Once outside she walked over to the time clock on the wall and distinctly
punched out. She then saw one of her fellow female officers walking
All: Distinctly
along the hallway and discreetly
Aaron: Noooo, distinctly.
pulled her aside. Asking if Sandra was still around the Female officer
Aaron: Celas
directed her
All: Distinctly.
to
the locker room.
Pestilence: (As female officer) She's the one who started the daisy chain. Just
follow the moaning.
Elisa just thanked the female officer and walked off in the direction of the
locker room to catch her soon-to-to be partner.
Aaron: In bed.
When Elisa enter the living room
Demona:: Heh!?? Living room?
Aaron: I guess when your work is your life, you really do live at the station
house.
she found it out to be pretty much empty since the night shift has just
started. Elisa sighs and hurries her away past the last bit of stragglers on
the whereabouts of Sandra. Tired from here search
Aaron: That must be the most tiring five-minute search in history.
Death: And I thought you were the only one who was that out of shape.
she sat down on the bench right in front of Sandra's locker determined not to
miss her. Exactly twenty minuents later her answer came in one of the most
intersting of ways.
Mara: Carrier pigeon?
Aaron: No, carrier vole.
Elisa watched as a 5'8 woman with long brown hair, slightly tanned skinned and
ocean blue eyes walked in view. But, that's not all of that was in
view...Elisa' visions
Pestilence: (Fake Jamaican accent) Call Miss Maza, she knows all!
was on the pair of 52C breasts with large brown areolas and chocolate brown
nipples.
Pestilence: See, it's not just guys who get hypnotized by boobs.
Demona:: 52…C? So… she’s an incredibly fat porker with small tits in comparison
to her huge, malformed, bulbous body?
Pestilence: …I retract my previous statement. On second thought, she’s still
hypnotized, like looking at a train wreck.
From the looks of her she was no slouch in the gym
All:: (Snicker)
Mara:: They used her for the mat.
and has slight six-pac showing.
Demona: Six-pac? Any relation to 2pac, by any chance?
Death: I'm afraid not, Mistress.
Aaron: A six pack of *kegs*, maybe.
Demona: … I don’t know. 2pac could be hiding behind her, and no one would ever
find him.
Her body was also wet from a
Pestilence: -golden-
shower she had just taken,
Mara:: (Sandra) I can’t control my bladder!
The woman stood in front of the still gawking Elisa and rested a hand on towel
hip.
"Excuse, me sugar, you're blocking my way."
Pestilence: And you’re blocking all the fucking light in here!
Death: (As Old Obi-wan) That’s no moon, it’s a space station.
Says the woman with slight hint of southern accent in her voice.
Mara:: Everyone wants to be Rue MaClanahan.
Elisa blinked. "Um, sorry…I was just looking for Sandra Cantiago."
She then tried to swallow the lump in the throat. "Are you her?"
Angela:: (Elisa) Dear God, I know we haven’t been the best of friends, but if
you, in your infinite grace and mercy, make it so that my new partner is not
The Blob, I’ll become a missionary and do Your Holy Work til the day I
die…Amen.
Sandra smiled as she unlocked her locker. "That's me Sug,…"
Angela:: (Elisa) Dear God, I’ve become a Satanist. Amen.
she then started to remove her clothes from the locker.
All:: (chant) Put them on! Put them on!
"Any particular reason why would you be looking for me?"
"Well, it's just that ?I came here to tell you that...um…I'm you
new…"
Pestilence: Fuck buddy.
Angela:: Poor Elisa, she can’t even talk straight looking at all that fat.
Pestilence: Maybe you could give her some pointers.
Before Elisa could speak another word Sandra deftly removed her towel revealing
her hairless pubic area and Elisa almost had conniption.
Death: Well, staring down the path to utter… Oh god, I can’t even finish that
thought.
Demona:: (Petting Scuzzy death) There, there… The path to utter horrific
Cthullu inspired torture?
Death: Yeah.
Her face flushed out as she looked away from the ravishing beauty
All: (Snicker)
as she shut her eyes tightly.
Death: (As Elisa) That's the ugliest fucking pussy I've ever seen.
Pestilence: (Falls off the couch laughing) And how many have you seen, exactly?
Death: (Bites Pestilence)
Sandra saw Elisa's reaction and smiled a bit.
"What's a matter Sug?" says Sandra coyly. "It's not like you
have never seen a woman's body before?"
Aaron: Not one that ugly.
"Yeah, I have...but I don't flaunt it like that." Thought
Elisa." I'm sorry probably I should wait until I get dressed before we
continue."
Angela:: Elisa is naked, too?
"It's alright hun." says Sandra as she pulls on her lace panties and
blue jeans." I'm used to be seen in the nude so no worries. "
Mara: Whenever I visit a beach, lots of people take my picture… and then try to
roll me back into the water.
She sits on the bench and puts on her socks and shoes.
"Well, I'm not used to doing things like this."
Pestilence: (As Yoda) You.. will.. be..
Says Elisa. She then rose form the bench and looked away form her. "Are
you done yet?"
Pestilence: That's what Hyena said when cherry-boy- Whoa! (Death, using either
his Scuzzy or Familae powers, mentally picks
Pestilence, now having become two-dimensional,
slides slowly down the wall and out of view.
Pestilence: We’ll be back, after these messages.
#